


Weathered

by Niori



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Adoption, F/M, He doesn't screw it up, Odin (Marvel)'s Good Parenting, for once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:34:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23817751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niori/pseuds/Niori
Summary: Odin knew how wars worked. He had fought them before, remembered how the victors turned their defeated enemy into no more than creatures to fear and slaughter. The Dark Elves were such things until Vanaheim was defeated, and then the Vanir took their place. He remembered the stories, grotesque as they were, and the barely concealed disgust Freya received when she arrived in Asgard, and how they only stopped after he allowed Vanaheim to trade again, four hundred years after the fact. It would be no different this time. The Jotun would become the monsters parents told their children of.He could hide the truth of what the child was, pass him off as a pregnancy that they had kept hidden so Frigga would not appear vulnerable as she acted as regent. It would catch Asgard by surprise, but they would accept it. He wouldn’t be able to shield him from all the words said against the Jontar, but Odin could soften the blow of them. Perhaps he could just keep the truth from the child as he would the rest of Asgard, yet if the child were to ever find out…(In which Odin still lies, he just tells a better one)
Relationships: Frigga | Freyja & Loki (Marvel), Frigga | Freyja/Odin (Marvel), Laufey & Loki (Marvel), Loki & Odin (Marvel), Loki & Thor (Marvel), Loki/Angrboda, Loki/Sigyn (Marvel)
Comments: 30
Kudos: 258
Collections: Finished111, Marvel





	Weathered

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally supposed to be much shorter, but then I got stuck inside for two months, so here we go. Hope everyone is staying safe and healthy out there! And not too bored.

From the moment he watched the baby’s skin bleed from blue to beige, Odin Allfather knew he would take him to Asgard. He had thoughts of the child’s future, of ways he could use him -those were Laufey’s royal clan lines, even if the maternal lines weren’t of his queen’s-, but he couldn’t fool himself. Odin was tired of war. He had blood on his hands and stains on his soul and would not stomach anymore death. This new life, this infant, was a chance to clean it away. He could no more bear to throw this chance away than he could shout out another call to arms. This child was his to protect, to raise as his son if Frigga would agree. If his queen protested, he would make him a ward, see him cared for by those loyal and loving, while guiding the child as a father-figure. This child was already lodged deep into his heart. 

Yet he knew how wars worked. He had fought them before, remembered how the victors turned their defeated enemy into no more than creatures to fear and slaughter. The Dark Elves were such things until Vanaheim was defeated, and then the Vanir took their place. He remembered the stories, grotesque as they were, and the barely concealed disgust Freya received when she arrived in Asgard, and how they only stopped after he allowed Vanaheim to trade again, four hundred years after the fact. It would be no different this time. The Jotun would become the monsters parents told their children of. 

He could hide the truth of what the child was, pass him off as a pregnancy that they had kept hidden so Frigga would not appear vulnerable as she acted as regent. It would catch Asgard by surprise, but they would accept it. He wouldn’t be able to shield him from all the words said against the Jontar, but Odin could soften the blow of them. Perhaps he could just keep the truth from the child as he would the rest of Asgard, yet if the child were to ever find out…

No, Odin decided, that path would only lead to misery someday in the future.

He rocked the baby in his arms, singing a lullaby he had often heard Frigga sing to Thor. The baby was silent, merely staring at him with calm green eyes, far steadier than should have been capable for one so young. The child wrapped a tiny hand around Odin’s finger, and any doubts he may have still had were washed away. 

The Jontar would be spoken about in Asgard, and he could not change that. He could, however, change the story that would be told. 

When he returned to his soldiers at the bifrost site, it was with the Casket of Ancient Winters in one hand and the baby resting in the crook of his other elbow. The injured had already been taken back to Asgard, but there were still many Asgardians there. He didn’t attempt to hide the babe in his arms, and it didn’t take long before it was noticed. 

“My King?” It was Tyr who saw him first, and there was confusion in his voice, “is that…”

“A babe? Yes.”

The general looked at the bundle even more closely, “But how? Did they steal a child from Midgard before we drove them back?”

The fact that the Jotun had changed its skin was helpful, Odin couldn’t deny that. It would bring greater acceptance if anyone of Asgard could only see him in this form. It would be easy to lie, but Odin didn’t, not yet. 

“No,” he replied, voice carrying and catching, “he is Jotun. He shape changed at my touch.” 

It sent shock through the crowd of soldiers, and a flurry of words and tones, from curiosity to disgust. More than one hand drifted to the hilt of their weapon. Inside, Odin seethed. Outside, he merely raised an eyebrow, “Do the warriors of Asgard tremble in the face of a baby, that they seek to draw blades against him?” All hands fell away from their weapons, though few looked shamefaced at their actions. It made Odin the child all the tighter. 

“How came you by this child?” It was Heimdall who asked, who gave him time to weave his lie. The Gatekeeper knew, of course. Most in the Realms thought he could only See when on the bifrost, and both Watcher and King encouraged that misconception.

“In the temple where I went to retrieve the casket, I heard the crying of a babe. I went to it. There was a Jotun there, weak and dying, a baby gripped in her arms. When she saw me, the enemy king who had beaten her people, she was not scared. No, her face filled with desperate hope while she held the infant out to me with shaking arms. She begged me to take him. Even as she lay dying, she didn’t ask me to bring her a healer, but to save her child. I took the child in my arms and promised, and only then would she let herself die. I don’t know how long she sat there, alone and unable to survive the birth, but it was willpower alone that kept her alive, to see her child live.” 

His declaration was taken in with a shocked and bewildered confusion. No one questioned him, as he knew they wouldn’t. If the people questioned their king, it was never out loud. And if they went to investigate his story? There were female corpses in that temple. There was a great chance one of those bodies was in fact the mother of the baby. He had no idea how she had fallen, but he did not believe it would be in an act of running- one did not throw away a prince, even a small one. Odin did not know her, for all he could guess at who she had to be -if it was not Laufey’s wife, it was his concubine-, but he believed she would do anything to keep her child safe, as both he and Frigga would for Thor. If it were true, he hoped she wouldn’t blame him for his lie. He doubted anyone would be grateful, but he prayed she would be accepting of the lie he gave to protect her son. 

“The father?” Tyr was the first one to get over his shock.

“She said nothing of him,” Odin was unsure if any of them would simply ask him to study the clan lines on the babe’s blue skin, but none did. He almost sighed in relief.

“Then what will you do with him? If we were to return to the Jontar now, I fear they’ll react in desperation to stop us from taking their casket, even if we’re holding one of their own. It’ll be war again.”

“Be that as it may, we can’t just leave the baby here and hope that one of his kind will find it once we’re gone,” one of the senior officers countered Tyr.

Before it could become an argument, Odin interrupted, “I’m taking him to Asgard, and it will be for the queen and I chose how to move forward from there.” He was again met with flabbergasted looks, and Odin would have laughed at how easily the soldiers of Asgard could be stunned into silence, if only he wasn’t so weary.

“Your majesty, surely the child would do better amongst its own people-“

“Perhaps he would,” Odin said, keeping calm despite wanting to lash out at them all for questioning him in this. The only reason he didn’t was for the sake of this boy- if he came into Asgard with annoyed or angry veterans telling tales of him, it would make it harder, “but a child this small won’t survive the coming winter, not with the casket gone. The vulnerable will be the first to fall when the magic of the realm destabilizes,” Odin knew what he was damning the realm to by taking the casket. He was saving this boy, but any other small children left here would surely die. Jotunheim would be volatile without its heart, and even when it stabilized, it would start a slow decay that would eventually lead to the death of the realm. He wished he could find another way to crush Jotunheim, but the only other strong option he had was to wipe out enough their population that it’d never recover. Odin wouldn’t let himself wonder if the Jontar would prefer that fate instead of a slow death while their world crumbled around them, “I gave my word as a king that I would protect him, and I will not have his mother cursing my name from Valhalla.” 

A wave went through them then, a flicker of unease and confusion as their king proclaimed one of the Jontar -enemies, brutes, monsters- worthy of the halls of Valhalla. There were two ways to the realm- death in battle or death because of saving your children, usually in childbirth but extending to any self-sacrifice to keep your children from dying. It wasn’t that they doubted the manner of death worthy, only the being -creature- who he deemed worthy of a place next to Odin’s own mother, Queen Bestla, who died protecting her son from an assassination attempt. 

“But-“there were still people who wanted to protest, and it finally made Odin snap.

“I hope one day, General Ake, if your own wife were to ever fall into such misfortune, it is a man like me who finds her, not one like you.”

He saw the moment it registered to them all, when the image of their own wives in such a state flashed through their minds. He saw the cutting grief on several faces, telling Odin that they had lost someone -wives, mothers, daughters, sisters- to the same fate as the baby’s imaginary mother. He felt a shred guilt for making them relive the pain because of his lies, but he pushed it aside, because he knew he had succeeded. Some wouldn’t like his choice, but who would now protest saving the child of a Jotun woman he had just turned into a martyr? 

“We should return to Asgard,” Tyr said, seeing that no argument would change his king’s mind, “have that eye taken care by a proper healer before it festers, and your boy loses his protector anyway.”

Warmth spread through Odin at him being referred to as ‘his boy’ and he chuckled, “This? Simply a flesh wound.”

“Tell that to Eir when she first sees you. I’m sure she’ll laud you for taking the time to get to her.” 

Odin was dreading seeing the over stern healer, for all he was confident she would stop anything from getting worse. She was one of the few left in Asgard who was unafraid of being stern with him and calling him a fool if she thought he was being one.

He gathered all his warriors and called for the bifrost. He blinked against the blazing sun of Asgard, and the baby finally began to cry. Odin soothed him and covered eyes that had never seen such brightness before. He still screamed, and Odin realized suddenly that it could be the heat. Even in fall, Asgard was so much warmer than Jotunheim. He hadn’t thought of such things, and Odin realized he would have to find a way to solve it.

Thankfully, Eir was already waiting at the observatory, and she didn’t even stop at the unexpected child crying in her king’s arms. Instead, she gently laid a hand on his head and soon the baby quieted, “A sleeping spell,” the healer informed him, “Now where did you even find him?” She narrowed his eyes, “Do you have something to inform me of?” 

He understood her tone at once, “He is not mine. You insult me to think I would shame the queen so.”

There was anger in Odin’s voice, but Eir didn’t flinch, “Forgive me your majesty, but it’s the first question that’ll be asked when a king brings home an infant.”

He hadn’t thought of that, to be honest. She wouldn’t be the only one to assume the child was his bastard, even if no one else said it to his face. For a moment, he wondered if it was worth it, if the rumors and snickers that would follow Frigga -never a king- from those who believed it was his. 

He didn’t have to think further, because Eir was still asking him questions, “He can’t be of Midgard- it’d never have survived the cold. Is he a half breed?”

“He is Jotun.”

Eir didn’t ask how his skin had changed, merely looked half outraged, “You brought a Jotun child into Asgard without placing any wards to protect him from the environment? Aesir skin or not, you have no idea how he could react! I have no idea how he will react!” 

Odin kept the beginning of alarm out of his voice, but barely. Had he already begun to harm the child who had already buried himself deep in his heart? Eir reached for him, and without realizing it, Odin pulled the child into his chest. Her irritation softened in the face of Odin’s protectiveness. 

“I’ll take the child to the healer’s quarters, into a cool, secluded room. I’ll see to him myself, and he’ll be there when you come for your eye,” then her eyes narrowed again, “do what you need to do and come to me immediately. I don’t want to lose my king because he was too much of a fool to be healed.”

Finally, he handed the baby to the healer, who rushed out of the observatory after throwing fabric over the screaming child. He watched her hurry down the bifrost, worried despite his trust in her.

“Your majesty?”

He turned and found his soldiers waiting for him. Odin sighed, “Come. Let us return. We all have families awaiting us.”

They cheered then, and his smile at them was true. They had survived a long and bloody war and were under Asgard’s sun for the first time in months. They deserved their joy before they had to bury their dead and deal with the ghosts they would now carry with them. That would come later. 

There were horses waiting for the king and generals outside the observatory, while the regular soldiers would walk in ranks behind them. The casket was still in his hands, now held so that everyone could see his prize. Crowds lined the streets from the bifrost to the palace, and the roar of their cheers was deafening. He kept his composure as was befitting a king, but he felt pride at their praise. Many of these people had lost loved ones in this war, but they still supported his actions. He would hold to that, if his actions ever began to haunt him. 

When they reached the steps of the palace, Frigga and Thor were waiting at the top of them, as was tradition. Frigga looked serene, and Odin could have wept when he saw her. Thor was beside her, holding her hand and vibrating in excitement. Odin handed the casket to Tyr and climbed the stairs. As he grew closer, he saw Frigga’s eyes widen before she controlled her expression. Abruptly, Odin remembered the gaping hole where his eye should have been. He almost faltered with a sudden fear Thor would see him and cringe away from his ghastly face. When he reached the top of the stairs, he realized his fears were pointless. The moment he was close, Thor ripped his hand out of his mother’s and ran towards him as quickly as his toddler legs could carry him.

“Papa!” 

Odin should have kept his composure in front of his subjects and kept the emotional greeting until they were in the privacy of the rooms. Instead, he dropped to his knees as Thor reached him and pulled his son into his arms. He held him, suddenly weary as Thor wiggled in his arms. He buried his face into his son’s hair and wanted to swear he would never leave him for so long again. He only let go when Thor began to pull back, but his hands on his small shoulders. 

It was then that Thor truly saw his face, and he just blinked owlishly, “Where eye?”

Odin couldn’t help his smile, “It seems I left it somewhere.”

Thor nodded sagely, “I help find,” he said, very serious.

“Later,” he said, and then stood. When Thor lifted his arms, Odin took him up and went towards his queen. Frigga’s smile was true this time and showed her love in her expression. Decorum told him he should greet her calmly, kiss her hand, and proclaim victory. He had already thrown decorum away with Thor, so instead he leaned in and kissed her gently, before resting his forehead against hers, “I’ve missed you.”

“And you my love. Now what is his rumour about a baby?”

He pulled back, “I have much to tell you,” he looked back to his general, “General Tyr, see the Casket of Ancient Winters to the weapons vault.”

The general agreed, but Odin was already leaving for the healing wing. He walked hand in hand with Frigga with Thor still in his arms. He nodded whenever someone or curtsied to him, but they didn’t stop until they arrived.

The healing quarters were buzzing with movement and activity as they rushed around to treat and save the wounded soldiers in their care. Healers all over Asgard would be doing the same, and it made Odin look away. Frigga noticed and squeezed his hand. One of the healers saw them and directed them to Eir’s office. The healer was bending over a roughly put together cradle.

Odin automatically spoke, “How is he?”

Eir straightened, “He’s fine your majesty. We’ve settled a cooling spell on him, just in case, and have avoided turning on bright lights, until we can investigate his health properly. Now sit down and let me see to your eye.” 

Odin transferred Thor to Frigga’s arms despite the boy’s protests and then sat. Eir poked and prodded at him, applied salves and let her magic wash over him. Frigga updated him on the news of their son and her regency. He enjoyed her calm voice and let himself drown in it as Eir’s ministrations stung. Thor’s excited voice would take over sometimes as he babbled half sentences, and it brought him peace. He was so happy to be home. Eventually, Thor fell silent as he fell asleep and Eir finished. The bandage across his eye felt strange, and he vaguely thought that he would have to have an eyepatch designed. Eir left to see other patients and he and Frigga were left alone. Odin could finally answer her.

“I found him in the temple beside the Casket of Ancient Winters. He was alone and his skin changed when I picked him up. He’s Laufey’s son.”

He heard Frigga’s sharp intake of breath, “Is that why you brought him here?” He heard the tone of displeasure in her voice.

“I brought him here because he’d die if I left him. I couldn’t do it Frigga.” 

“You care about him,” this time the judgement was gone from the statement.

“Yes,” it was easier to admit than Odin thought it would be. 

“This war has changed you,” she commented, “more than the others.”

“I’m tired of death Frigga. All I want is rest and peace. He will bring me that, I hope.”

“That is a strong burden to put on a child, especially one that’s not your own.”

Odin took his chance, “He could be,” his words were said in a voice so soft it was nearly a whisper. When Odin looked into Frigga’s eyes, he saw she was smiling, like she was impressed with him.

“Tell me Odin Borrson, have you brought me a new son?”

“If you agree, yes.”

Wordlessly, Frigga rose from her seat and sat Thor’s sleeping body back down on the chair. With one child gone, she went to the cradle and picked up the other. She held the baby for a long time, and the sight of the two of them gave Odin not only peace, but hope. 

“What did you tell everyone?” Odin gave her the same story as he had told Jotunheim, “And what part of that was lies?” 

“His mother wasn’t there, or at least alive. He was alone when I found him, either abandoned or hidden.”

“So you’ve turned an unknown Jotun into a martyr for motherhood. Who would dare call such a woman a monster?”

“I can’t stop all the talk that will come out of the war, but I can at least control some of it. He’ll grow hearing of a noble sacrifice and how he was loved from the very beginning.”

“It’s a clever lie. What of Laufey?”

“It is too dangerous to let it be known. That will be asking too much for the people to accept. And if Laufey were to find out…” he could demand him back, and already Odin feared he would go to war again to keep him.

“So we lie to the boy about that too,” he heard the reproach in her voice, and considered.

“We’ll tell him when he’s old enough to decide what he wants to do with the information. Asgard won’t accept it now, but if they have time to watch him grow amongst us, then perhaps they’ll adjust easier, and won’t turn on him.”

Frigga looked down at the sleeping baby in her arm, “There’s so much to do,” she ran a finger down his cheek, “but we’ll do it,” Odin grinned at her when he came to stand by her side, his eldest son now in his arms, “Thor will be overjoyed to have a brother. Do you have a name?” 

“I thought to leave that to you. You did well with Thor’s name,” he said.

“Loki,” he had never heard it before and didn’t ask where she had. Instead, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and stood with his family.

There was still so much to do, a war to recover from and the dead to mourn. He had to step away from being a father and husband to be king once again. He would have to face what he had done, but for now he was content.

l.l.l.ll.

It was a week later when the fallen were gathered into the ships and sent onwards to Valhalla. Odin stood tall at the front of the crowd; a bow ready to fire the first arrow. Frigga was at his side, Thor in front of her and Loki in her arms. The crowd around them was somber, some openly weeping. The grief was heavy in the air, and it was heavy on Odin’s heart. He signaled to the other archers and they let their arrows fly. The boats caught quickly, and they drifted into the void. When they were gone, the crowd dispersed until only Odin and his family was left. Eventually, Thor’s patience finally ran out and he began to pull on his mother’s arms as he said he was tired. 

“I’ll take you back sweetheart,” Frigga promised, “I’ll return for the feast after.”

They left for the city, where Odin headed towards the feasting hall. People -those who had lost family, from peasant to noble- were already there, though none would begin to feast until the king had given his address. He took his place at the head of the table. When Frigga swept in, Loki was still in her arms. All eyes turned to her, and no one tried to hide their curiosity. 

The day after returning, Odin had sent out an announcement about the newest member of the royal family and made sure that the news would be spread through the realm. Today was the first day any had caught a glimpse of him. He had been kept hidden away in the royal quarters as Eir began to make sure being Asgard wouldn’t harm the Jotun. This was not only a funeral feast, but the way Odin would officially acknowledge his adoption. The crowd didn’t bother to hide their stares as Frigga came in, craning to catch a clear look at the sleeping baby. When Frigga sat at his side, all the crowd stared at her. She looked right back at them, not judging or angry, but certainly daring anyone to say anything. 

Odin stood, cup in his hand to make a toast. The attention of the hall turned to him, and he took time to gaze at those he had requested to come. There were warriors and nobles yes, but he had limited those to as few as he could get away with. Instead, he brought together the families of those who had died, widows and children who wore their grief and pride on their faces. He didn’t want this feast to be all about death, but life as well. The fathers had died for these children, and what better way to celebrate those sacrifices than to focus on them? That it set the tone on the idea of the importance of children helped his cause was a benefit but not his only reason. 

As he stood, those in the hall rose with him, “Today we honour those who have died in the defense of the nine realms. They feast tonight in Valhalla amongst the glorious dead,” he raised his glass, and the crowd followed him, “to the dead,” they echoed him, and Odin began to take his seat.  
Before anyone could sit again, Frigga raised her own cup one more time. Her voice was serene, not authoritarian, but she carried the same weight as him. They listened to her speak the secondary speech that she and Odin had prepared, “And we honour those who are left behind, and not only the soldiers who came home, but the children who will live because of their parent’s sacrifice,” she smiled down at the baby in her arms and ran a finger down Loki’s chubby cheek. She looked up again and smiled at the other children, “your fathers did not just fight for the Nine, they fought so you could live safely in them. Be proud of them,” and then she looked to the rest of the crowd, “honour all those who died, not just for their bravery, but for what their sacrifice means for the children in all of our arms.” 

The cheers were more subdued, but Odin saw tears on the faces of those who held children tightly in their arms. Frigga’s words touched hearts, and Odin hoped it would spread and keep. He hoped this, along with what they had done before, would be enough to keep Loki happy and safe.

When Frigga say back down, Odin reached over and took her hand. He brought it to his lips and kissed her knuckles, “Well done my love.”

“Don’t congratulate us yet,” she replied, as the feast truly began, “we still have to raise him.”

And they did. Raising a Jotun baby didn’t prove as difficult as they thought it would be, at least not after they found the spells to keep his temperature stable and pleasant. He was quieter than Thor, right from the beginning, and he could stare at someone as though he was peering into their soul. It was unnerving at times, Odin admitted, but he could already tell this youngest son was intelligent. As he grew, he stayed quiet and thoughtful, but a spark of mischief grew. Small jokes and little pranks here and there, ones he couldn’t hide his part in because he could never hide his laughter. There was no malice there, not even when they were directed at Thor. He was loyal to those he loved, to the point where he would follow Thor into too many mishaps. For all the brothers were opposites, they loved each other deeply. Odin worried it was too much sometimes, when Loki -even when he was old enough to know better- would follow Thor on his most ill-advised adventures, or Thor would help with Loki’s wildest pranks. But neither he nor Frigga would never think of separating them, not when he knew how much joy his sons brought to each other. 

It was not only Thor who Loki showed his loyalty to. He would spend hours with Frigga, entranced by her weaving and lullabies, long past the age when Thor had become too restless for it. He would hold her hand and go with her, never minding when someone would whisper that he seemed to cling to his mother so much. He brought her wild flowers from the fields outside the city, clothes stained and face dirty from the venture, and Frigga could take them, kiss the tip of his nose, and hug him to her, headless of the dirt and grime that stained her clean dress and skin. Loki was Frigga’s son overall, but he loved Odin as well. Loki toddled after him through the palace as soon as he learned to walk, playing at being sneaky before he jumped and grabbed Odin’s legs with a yell. Odin would pretend to be surprised and would scoop his giggling son into his arms and tickle him until he shrieked with laughter. He would sit on Odin’s knee during council meetings, sometimes falling asleep there, at first to be close, then out of curiosity, and by the time he was big enough for his own seat beside his father, because he wanted to learn. It endeared him to all the council members, even those who had been unsure of him at first. Odin loved him fiercely. 

Odin’s prediction about Loki’s intelligence proved correct when he finally started to take lessons with a tutor alongside Thor. Loki excelled at schooling, was able to understand things quickly and had an attention span that many adults would wish for. It was the first true crack between Loki and Thor. Thor was smart but would always be looking out the window, wishing to be elsewhere. It meant, for the first time, Loki was better in some way, and it hit the eldest and golden son. Not enough to make him cruel, but enough for Loki to notice and be hurt. Frigga and Odin both tried to soothe Thor, and they sometimes succeeded. They thought about getting them different teachers, but finally decided against it. They learned together, but Loki was never quite as excited about his progress and Thor wanted to learn even less. 

“Sibling rivalry was bound to happen eventually,” Frigga said, alone with Odin one night after there had been an argument between the boys, “it’s natural. They have already made up and are whispering under the covers about their next adventure.”

Odin sighed. He knew Frigga was right, that it was bound to happen eventually. At least it was over something simple, something that would resolve in time once Thor matured a little more. A time would come when Loki would feel something similar, he supposed, and it would even out.

Thor, who was bright and loud, who thrust himself in the centre of attention, was the child who the rest of Asgard noticed the most. He was the one who was praised and mentioned the most. Odin loved his sons equally, saw that they had different but no less important strengths, but knew that others did not see that. Loki, who was formal and controlled to those he wasn’t close to, came across as shy, though Odin would call it reserved. Loki kept many parts of himself hidden from those he didn’t know well, while Thor did the opposite. There were many compliments about Loki -his politeness, his silver tongue, his astuteness- and there were those who told Odin that Loki would make a fine politician someday. But for all those, they were not things that would ever make him popular. Thor just being himself would always outshine Loki, and Odin knew it would hurt Loki when the boy realized he could not change that.

There were other ways it wasn’t perfect. Some of the warriors who fought in Jotunheim and the families who lost family to the Jontar would not be swayed. They didn’t dare to say anything to the faces of the royal family, but curious Loki found a way to hear every word and rumour. He cringed from it at first, hiding behind Frigga anytime he had to face those who kept their hatred behind a polite mask. Then he grew, and a mutual hatred took hold of him, and he would stand proud as a prince, smirking at those who would see him dead and watching their impotent rage.

It was where Loki’s cruel streak began, and at first Odin was shocked that it came out and twisted from his harmless mischief. He couldn’t imagine the sweet child who had once ran to Frigga with an injured bird and begged her to help it, would seek vengeance for slights. Maybe he had expected Loki’s anger to manifest like Thor’s did, with temper tantrums, and maybe that was part of him being oblivious to his son’s faults. After one prank that went a little too far, Odin sat Loki down and told him his anger might be justified, but to use it in such a way would only make the people of Asgard think he was untrustworthy. As a prince, Loki had a duty to appear a certain way, whether that was fair to him or not. Loki listened, though his childishness still broke through on occasion. When Loki broke again and cut off a girl’s hair, Odin was still a bit blindsided and hadn’t been able to stop his incredulous, “What?”

After being told, Odin found Loki sitting in his room, a purple bruise blooming on his cheek. From what Odin had learned from the girl’s father, Loki deserved the bruise she had given him. When he looked up, Loki’s face set in a firm line, far from the guilt or repentance Odin was hoping for. The king sighed and sat down on the floor beside his son. Loki stubbornly said nothing. 

“I already know what you did,” Odin said, “but I want to know why,” when Loki said nothing in reply, anger finally sparked to the forefront of his mind, “you will tell me now Loki Odinson!”

Loki deflated at his angry tone, because he knew that was not just a father’s tone, but a king’s, “I didn’t plan on cutting that much off. I was only going to take off the end of her ponytail, where she wouldn’t notice for a while. Then she moved her head.” At least it wasn’t as malicious as it could have been, but that barely made it better. It still didn’t explain why he had done it. Odin waited for Loki to continue. Eventually, he did. 

“She always mocks me for being too small to hold weapons correctly,” Loki had only started arms training a few months ago, and he wasn’t doing well. Odin had wanted to wait until he had grown a bit more, because it was a simple fact he was too small for most weapons. Loki had begged, desperate to catch up to his brother, who had started three years before. Against his better judgement, Odin allowed it and regretted it ever since. Loki was miserable, and only sheer determination and the knowledge of the embarrassment he would face if he withdrew kept him going. Odin despaired that any amusement or joy Loki could have found in arms training was forever gone, “and when she does it, the others laugh. As soon as she said it was a joke, Thor stopped being mad and let her do it!” 

Odin wondered if the girl had truly meant it as a lighthearted jest and Loki’s own sensitivities saw cruelty when it wasn’t there. He didn’t ask, knowing that Loki would only take it as his father accusing him of something. Perhaps the girl had meant it in that way and used Thor’s good nature to brush it off. He didn’t know her, but children could be cruel. 

“I hate it when Thor does it!” Loki’s voice was getting faster and angrier, “I hate it! But he’s not being mean about it! He says he’s sorry when I tell him! Sif didn’t! It’s not fair! I tried so hard to make them like me! But they won’t!”

“And why is it that you feel you have to be friends with them?” 

“Thor likes them,” it was said with a pout.

“And you have to like everyone your brother likes?”

“…I do if I want Thor to play with me anymore.” 

So that was the reason, “your brother is at an age when he thinks he’s too old to play with anyone younger, even his brother, when he’s around new friends. It’s a phase that will end soon enough. You will be his brother long after any friendships may fail.”

Loki looked even more displeased with that, “That’s fine for him, but now I don’t have anyone.”

They should have arranged for other playmates for the boys before, Odin realized, ones that would suit their personalities, so they didn’t only have each other. He and Frigga were just too overjoyed at how close their sons were to think about when they would inevitably grow apart. They waited until the boys would be around other children in large groups, instead of encouraging them to branch out earlier, one of the things that led to the current issue. 

“I know what everyone will say about why I did it. They’re wrong. I don’t care that Sif is a girl! I’m a Jotun foundling. How could I care? It’s that she’s mean to me and no one cares!”

Odin heard something else in his voice, another reason he had not said yet. He wanted to know what else was on his son’s mind, “Then you should have talked to her, not done this. People have been mean to you before Loki, and your vengeance hasn’t been destructive. Embarrassing for your victim yes, but you’ve never laid a hand on them. Why did you go so far?”

“I tried so hard to make her happy! When someone said something about her being a girl, I told them to stop! But it made her angrier at me! Nothing I did for any of them mattered! None of them cared!” The child burst out, “They don’t even pretend they don’t like Thor so much more than me! Everyone likes Thor better than me, but no one else is so obvious about it!”

It twisted Odin’s heart, hearing his son so easily say that he was secondary, that he was disliked in ways the Allfather couldn’t stop. Not only did Thor outshine Loki with the adults, but with their own peers as well. It made Odin realize that if Loki continued down this path, determined to tie himself those who would probably always gravitate towards Thor, he would never find a way out of his shadow.

“If I want Thor to pay attention to me. I need to make them like me.” 

Odin could have said that playing a nasty prank on one of them when they laughed at you, was not the way to convince them to like you, but he’d bring that up later. It wasn’t the most pressing part for now, “As long as Thor wishes to have friends that match him, they will be opposite to you, at least for now,” Loki’s face fell, and Odin put an arm around his shoulder and pulled him into his side, “and doing things like this will only want to make him want to distance himself from you. You will both grow and come back together, and maybe his friends will come too. Until then, there are others you can become friends with. It doesn’t need to be Thor’s friends.”

Loki didn’t speak, and when he did, there were tears in his voice, “But everyone goes to Thor.”

They had never really spoken about this before, the way Thor and Loki were different around people, outside a few times both boys had to be comforted that their differences were perfectly fine. It was time they did, “Thor puts himself out there. He makes himself be noticed, while you don’t,” he felt Loki stiffen, “There’s nothing wrong with the way you are, but you might need to search out others instead of waiting for them to come to you. You don’t have to make a grand entrance but find someone to talk to.” 

“But what if the person doesn’t like me either?” Loki asked softly.

This time Odin just hugged Loki to him, and then Loki did start to cry quietly, “Not everyone will like you Loki, just like not all people like Thor, myself, or even your mother. If you find a person like that, then move onto someone else. You are wonderful Loki- you’re smart, you’re kind, and you’re funny. You’re easy to love Loki, and others will find that true.”

Loki’s tears eventually tapered off, and Odin held his son until they ended. They still had to talk about punishment for what he had done. Odin would have to arrange a way for Loki to make it up to the girl. He’d ask Frigga for ideas later. But for now, Odin just tried to make his youngest feel better. 

Loki, for once, followed a suggestion instead of refusing it just be difficult. Odin watched from his throne as Loki hesitantly approached another boy in his training group. He was a scrawny thing, all gangly limbs and awkward footing, small like Loki. Loki’s attempts at conversation left something to be desired and the boy -Ullr, Odin would later to come to find out- was more than a little bewildered and suspicious that the second prince decided to speak to him. For a moment, Odin despaired that it wasn’t working and perhaps son was hopeless at social situations, but then the Norns took pity. Loki made some complaint about practice swords being unfairly weighted, the boy whole heatedly agreed, and it was settled. They were hardly fast friends, but it at least gave Loki someone to talk to. 

When Loki’s magic grew, Asgard gossiped and then decided that it was not the prince’s fault that his nature as one of the Jontar was to be that way, so they could not hold it against him. It was a shame, they said in their condescending voices, that the second prince wouldn’t be a warrior, but the lad had a clever enough mind to be a tactician someday and there was always a place for a mage in war as healers or organizers. Despite himself, Loki could do Asgard and his father’s name proud. Even after becoming friends with Ullr, Loki never really enjoyed arms training and eventually began to try and avoid it in favor of his books or exploration, but he had still been upset the day the arms master patted him on the head and told him, in what he assumed was a kind of voice but felt like nothing but mocking to a young man’s ears, it was best if he were to give up his weapons to work on the strengths and then banished him from the practice ring. Odin was furious, wanted to storm into the training yard and yell at the person who shamed his son so, and Thor did just that for his brother, but knew if he fought Loki’s battles for him, it would forever make the claims against him seem true. Instead he took those lessons into his own hands -Frigga taught her son knifework, he taught him to how to best use a spear, and both Thor and Ullr taught Loki the techniques they were learning in the ring. Odin brought in a battle mage from Vanaheim for good measure. When, a few years later, Loki entered the ring and brought the instructor who had dismissed him to the ground, Odin was there to cheer for him. When, in the aftermath of his victory and permission to return to the ring for official arms training, Loki had promptly gone back to avoiding training as often as he could, and Odin chuckled. 

Loki gained a lot of respect from his peers from it, and even Thor’s friends, who had once been so desperate for, began to include him. Odin was worried that Loki would fall back into the habit of needing to be close to Thor, especially since the brothers had grown close again while Thor taught him. And yes, Loki would go with Thor and his friends, but didn’t chase it, and always made sure to drag a laughing Ullr with him. Eventually, Loki added more to his group. 

Balder was next, a distant Vanir cousin on Frigga’s side, who came to Asgard one summer. He was younger than both boys, and Frigga tasked Loki with watching out for him. Loki complained and pouted, but did what his mother asked him (they didn’t exactly trust Thor with the duty- their eldest wouldn’t care about the age gap anymore, but would drag his cousin out on some quest without asking, get him injured, and possibly start an inter-realm conflict. The most trouble Loki would cause was an ill-advised prank…probably). Loki lost his complaints the moment he realized Balder had a face that could stay innocent looking no matter what he was caught doing. Loki had never played more pranks than he did the summer Balder first stayed in Asgard. There were barely held back tears for both boys when he left, and Loki spend the next summer in Vanaheim. 

Amora and Lorelei he found when he began magic lessons, sisters who were just as powerful with their burgeoning magic, with sharp smiles and calculating eyes that already had Odin worried. They were both cunning, but Odin saw no subterfuge when they became Loki’s friends. They were all fascinated by magic and were willing to learn from each other. It was Amora and Lorelei who encouraged Loki the most, who made him reach for deeper and more powerful magic. It backfired at times, like the time they accidently burned down a wing of a palace, but Loki wouldn’t have become the mage he was if it hadn’t been for them. It wasn’t only through magic that they helped him- Amora could always find fun and drag Loki with her, reminding him that there was nothing wrong with being childish when he could. Lorelei would listen to Loki’s problems, the ones he didn’t want to come to his parents with, and while her advice left much to be desired, she could always find the best ways to distract him. 

Sigyn was the last of their group, when Ullr stumbled upon her in the stables. She loved horses and caring for them, and his punishment for misbehaving was mucking out the stables. She was defensive at first, worried that he’d chase her out and he was just confused as to why anyone would spend time around horses without having to. They snapped at each other and she left in a huff, and it could have ended there, had Ullr not mentioned it to his friends and peaked Loki’s interest. Loki had Amora, who was already an expert in using mirrors as a scrying tool, to keep an eye on the stables for him, and when Sigyn returned, he went to meet her. They fit together easily, even during that first meeting. Sigyn was a minor noblewoman who loved horses, and Loki offered to take her a ride on the next day. 

Frigga was delighted when Loki, blushing, told her all about this new friend. When she recounted it to Odin later that night, “It’s wonderful Odin. You should have heard him going on about her.”

Odin just laughed, “Don’t get too far ahead of yourself Frigga. He’s called other girls pretty before and that led to nothing.”

“But not while blushing. He likes this Sigyn, I’d place money on it.”

“Then he’s still young and any sort of romantic interest will probably pass quickly.”

“Honestly Odin,” Frigga waved him away, unconcerned by his logical points, “it’s not every day your son develops his first taste a love. Allow a mother to enjoy it.”

Odin chuckled, though not unkindly. She had said the same thing when Thor had felt the same for the first time. Thor had moved on quickly, and perhaps Loki would as well, but it didn’t make the whole thing any less sweet.

“Well then,” he said, “it seems we must meet this girl.”

Odin had to admit that he liked Sigyn when he met her, more than he had Loki’s other friends on first impression, with her wild nature hidden behind being well raised, until she was able to set it free like a whirlwind. She was studious as well and could talk to Loki about books for hours. She was polite by never intimated by the rest of the royal family. They fit together, and Odin was glad that they would be friends, and he liked Frigga’s hope they could be more someday. 

“It would be an excellent match,” Frigga would only breezily say, whenever Odin teased her about it.

So Sigyn fit easily into the group of friends Loki had gathered around him. The six of them were puzzle pieces that fit together. Odin was grateful for every one of them, not only because they made Loki happy, but because they protected him as well. The world could still be cruel to him. Some refused to accept that a Jotun had any right to the life he had. As the years passed, it wasn’t only family who came to Loki’s defense, but his friends as well, whenever they could. 

There was only one time that his heritage was used against him by someone he loved. It was during some fight about nothing of importance, when a furious Thor snarled that Loki wasn’t his brother. It was how they discovered Loki was a world walker- he ran so far and so fast in his heartbreak that the World Tree itself opened its branches to let him go even further. Frigga did not yell at her children often, but her wrath at Thor made the Thunderer grimace for years to come. It was Odin who went to Vanaheim to retrieve his crying son, who reassured him as much as he could that Thor’s words were foolish ones he didn’t actually mean. When they returned to Asgard, Thor had all but begged for forgiveness, which Loki granted and then punished him with a rather cruel trick to pay him back for it anyway. The hurt eventually faded, so much that ‘he’s/I’m adopted’ became a common comment when one brother was embarrassing the other. But Loki never trusted the same way again and Thor’s attempts to protect his brother could sometimes turn to coddling, and it caused friction between them. 

Loki still felt the need to prove himself far too often, no matter what his parents said, but he always did. He proved himself in diplomacy, on the battlefield, and that he could be a good king, if the worst happened and he was forced to take Thor’s place. The realm was once again impressed, though it was once again that a frost giant managed to do so well at these things. By then, Loki had learned to brush off their patronizing, though it still frustrated him. His family did all that they could to make him know they were proud of him for the right reasons, though it wasn’t always enough.

But more importantly than all that, Loki knew he had a place in his realm and his family, and no amount of doubts had been able to truly take that from him. He had not questioned that since he was a child, as far as Odin knew. He hoped it was the truth, and that he was not about to shatter that.

It was nearly a century after he came of age that he summoned Loki to his private office. When his son came in, he was outwardly relaxed, which always meant he was trying too hard to stop himself from fidgeting. He was a talented liar, but not quite good enough to fool his father, at least not yet. It seemed his son had a bit of mischief happening and he was nervous he had been caught in the middle of it. Odin couldn’t help the quirk of his lips at the idea.

“Take a seat Loki,” he gestured to a chair, and Loki took the one across from him.

“Good tidings have never followed those words,” and then Loki did sound a tad nervous.

Odin would have laughed, had he not been hiding his own nerves. Had he not been hiding his own fear, “You did well in Alfheim,” he said, and Loki beamed. Loki had spent the last month in the other realm replacing the regular ambassador while she was ill. He had managed to talk the Light Elves out of starting a trade war. 

Unlike his brother, who assumed he was owed praise for everything he did (warranted or not), Loki needed to hear the actual words of praise, otherwise he worried no one was proud of him. Odin was glad that Frigga had been far seeing enough to realize that Odin was never going to figure that out on his own and thought to tell him. So caught up in duty and running a kingdom, Odin might not have realized the parenting style Loki needed was not the one he used with Thor until it was too late. 

“Thank you, Father,” it brought Odin joy to see his son happy, and his stomach dropped when he prepared to possibly shatter it all. He prayed to the Norns that he wouldn’t.

“While it wasn’t a test, it has shown me you are ready to learn something I should have told you before this,” Loki looked intrigued, and Odin took a deep breath before continuing, “it is about your history.”

“My history? Do you mean my birth?” Loki asked with a raised eyebrow, “I know that story. They’ve written ballads about my birth,” his son preened, even after so much time.

Loki knew nothing of the truth, and Odin was not about to reveal that. It was a lie he would take to his grave. There was something else he could tell his son and knew it was time to do it before he managed to discover the truth in some way, “Yes, but it is about your father.”

Loki’s eyes widened at that. Through the years he had never asked Odin about the Jotun who had sired him. Perhaps he had asked Frigga and she had given an answer that stopped him from looking further. It had been easier to let it rest, to avoid one more lie or the fallout of the truth.

“You know who my father is?” Odin flinched at the word father being applied to anyone but him, “I thought…”

“I’ve known since I first held you,” Odin admitted, “your clan lines told me. Your birth father, he is Laufey.” 

It was a rare sight to see the Silvertongue shocked, even rarer to leave him speechless, and now he was left both. Odin would have laughed if they were talking about anything else. 

“What?”

“You are Laufey’s son Loki, a prince of Jotunheim. But you were too small to survive the realm without the casket, and I had promised to keep you safe. My reasons for taking you are the same.”

“Did...did he know?”

“No. I sent no word that I had found you and brought you back to Asgard without informing anyone of Jotunheim.”

“You stole me?” 

Odin could try and put it into prettier words, try and make Loki think it was something noble instead, but he feared his son would see past that, “From him? Yes. I took the gift your birth mother gave me and gave no thought to your father. I wanted you too much to think of giving you up, even then,” there were still lies there, but not his last words. Nothing could have forced Odin to part from the child he had chosen on that bloody day in Jotunheim.

“But why? You always do everything for a reason,” Odin saw the panic in his son’s eyes as Loki’s mind ran over the possibilities that keeping a foreign prince could create, especially when that prince was the son of a long time enemy. There were so many things that Odin could have used Loki for, from puppet king to hostage to keep Laufey in line, and Odin knew Loki thought of them all and looked horrified, “tell me!”

He saw Loki already drowning and reached out to touch him, to comfort him, but he flinched away from his touch. The despair Odin felt at the rejection was sharp and severe, and he felt his heart start to break. This could not get away from him, he could not lose his chosen son, “I will not lie to you and say the thought of your heritage being beneficial to Asgard never crossed my mind. But they were thoughts I dismissed quickly whenever they came. It would mean we would have to give you up, and that would never stand,” Frigga and Thor would never forgive him if he did. Odin would never forgive himself if he did, even if it was to the benefit of the realm.

“Why now?” Loki was not comforted, and now his mind had clearly gone to imagining the reasons Odin would have to tell him now. He had so little trust for him, and Odin wondered what he had done to deserve it, “why would you keep this from me for my whole life only to tell me now?”

There was a reason he had chosen now, not least of which was Frigga badgering him by telling him enough was enough. That wasn’t what he focused on, “I was scared,” his voice was soft when he said it. 

That brought Loki’s thoughts to a screeching halt, “What?”

“I was scared,” he said simply, “I feared that if I told you that there was another father out there for you, that you would choose him. I worried you would find me lacking and I would lose you. I meant to tell you a few years after you came of age, I did, but...I’m not blind Loki. I know how distant we’ve grown. I thought...if I gave you another option, you would never look back to me.” 

They had been drifting apart before then, slowly as Loki grew into his own person and Odin realized he and his son had much less in common outside of political savvy than he did with Thor. The brothers were both smart, yes, but in such different ways that Odin found it harder to connect with him. Loki preferred Frigga, and while Odin had never begrudged them their connection, it didn’t stop the slight bitterness that he was the one who had chosen Loki, and yet Loki had decided he would rather spend time with his other parent. Then there had been, not really an argument but a more heated conversation, where Loki had told his father that Thor was becoming too arrogant, and Odin had dismissed it as sibling rivalry to his face. Loki had left upset, and when Odin really looked at his eldest, he had realized Loki was right. He had apologized, but a blank faced Loki had told him he need not, and then would dismiss the conversation whenever Odin tried to bring it up. He should have insisted, should have made sure Loki knew his apology for dismissing him was true, but instead he avoided it like Loki wanted to. Afterwards, he had devoted much time to shaping Thor into the king he was meant to be and spent less time with his younger son than he should have. Things hadn't become bad between them, per say, but they were strained. Not even Frigga’s suggestions had been able to help him fix it. And now here he was, possibly making it worse.

Loki was looking at him, so lost and stunned, having no idea what to say. He saw tears in his green eyes and fought back the urge to try and comfort him again, with how he had reacted to it earlier, “I…” It was clear he had no idea how to react to his father’s blatant admission of weakness, so Loki shifted the conversation, “Who else knows?”

“Just your mother and Heimdall.”

“Not Thor?”

Odin cocked an eyebrow, “Thor can barely keep a small secret from you, let alone one this big.”

He saw a quick flash of a smile on Loki’s face at the mention of his brother’s lack of skill, but then shook it away, “What do you want me to do now?”

“I want you to do whatever you think is right. It is up to you to decide what you’ll do with this news. If you wish to ignore it and continue as you have, then it is what we shall do. If you wish to travel to Jotunheim and learn more, then I shall arrange it.”

“And if I were to decide that I wished to stay in Jotunheim?” He didn’t look at Odin as he said it, kept his eyes trained on his lap. It made Odin’s heart leap into his throat, but he pushed it down. Loki didn’t say it as a challenge, but a soft question.

“Then I will help arrange that as well. I will only insist you return to visit your mother and brother at times,” he didn’t say himself, because he wasn’t sure where he stood with Loki right now, “all I desire is your happiness. You are my son and I love you.”

Then Loki did look up, and his eyes were shining with tears he wouldn’t actually shed. Hesitantly, Odin reached out again, and Loki didn’t flinch this time as he touched his shoulder and squeezed it. 

“I need time,” Loki said, “I can’t…”

“Then you may have as much time as you need.”

“Can I tell anyone?” 

“You may tell anyone you deem worthy. It is no dirty secret. I ask that you don’t allow the people at large to know. I don’t want anyone from Jotunheim to find out before I’ve had a chance to tell Laufey. I will do that only when I have your permission.” 

“I need to think.”

Odin had expected this to go longer, for Loki to have questions, as he always did, but he could see how much Loki wanted to flee. He couldn’t find a reason to force him to stay and listen to things he clearly wasn’t ready to hear.

“I…very well. When you wish to speak again, just tell me. I will answer whatever questions you have.”

“Thank you, Father,” was all he got before Loki was practically flying out of the room. For all this had not gone the way Odin had wanted, not really, the fact that Loki had still called him father made him hope. He wished Frigga had been there to make the whole thing easier, but they had decided that it was best for Odin to deliver the news alone, so no matter his emotions Loki would spend them on him and still have a safe harbor to go to in the form of his mother.

Odin sighed. Half the truth - the only truth he was willing to give- was out. No matter what Loki chose, he would agree. It was all he could do.

L.l.l.l.l

It was a year later when Loki once again brought up the topic to Odin. The king knew he had spoken of it to Frigga a handful of times, when he needed reassurances and confirmation of his place. Odin wished he would come to him, but he understood- speaking to him would turn it into something more official, whether either wanted it to or not. Odin was aware that Thor knew, and at least some of Loki’s friends (probably all), but the revelation of Loki’s parentage was not brought up between father and son. They stumbled around it, sometimes awkwardly, as Odin tried to close the gap that had developed between them in the years before he revealed it. It was better than it had been, now that both were making an effort to bridge it, even if it was a private tafel game when they could squeeze one in between their busy schedules, and Odin requesting Loki’s assistance in some political matter or another. He was just thankful Loki showed him no sign of resenting him.

The family was sitting around a table in the royal wing of the palace taking a private dinner together. None of them were trying to hold much of a conversation, but it wasn’t awkward. From the corner of his eye, Odin saw his sons exchange a look, before Thor gave a small smile and Loki bit his lip nervously. His youngest then cleared his throat to get their attention. 

“I wish to go to Jotunheim.”

Both of his parents stopped, Frigga with a spoonful of soup halfway to her mouth. Odin felt his hand involuntarily clench around his goblet. Calmly, Frigga put down her spoon and Odin forced himself to loosen his grasp. He didn’t know what the feeling in his stomach was, only that it made it turn unpleasantly. He hadn’t lied to Loki when he had promised to abide by his wishes, but it didn’t mean he had to like it. What did it mean that he wanted to go now?

“That’s wonderful Loki,” and to Frigga it probably was. She had always encouraged Loki to find out the as much about his heritage as he could. It was easier for her. There was no other mother who could replace her in their son’s eyes. 

Loki looked at him, face guarded, waiting for a negative response. He was too cautious, worried Odin would deny him even after all his promises.

Odin wanted to, wanted to keep Loki far away from the land that could take him back, but instead he nodded, “I’ll send a message to Jotunheim tomorrow and ask for a meeting with Laufey. He’ll have to agree to host you, but I see no problems with him agreeing,” there were too many things Odin could offer Laufey for the other king to refuse. Loki looked at him, relief in his expression, and Odin’s heart twisted just a little at the lack of faith his son had in him, “May I ask why now?” 

Loki hesitated only for a moment, “You’ve always said that you would need to return the Casket of Ancient Winters to Jotunheim before the harm to the realm became irreversible. I did some calculations, and that will have to be sometime within this century. I just thought it would be a good way to return it. I could do it.” 

It gave him an excuse, Odin realized, he could go to Jotunheim as his duty. If Loki found something more in Jotunheim then it was a bonus, but if he found his home world or birth family unfavourable, he could return to Asgard without hurting anyone’s pride. He was going for a political visit, and once it was done, he was free to leave without anyone having the right to protest. He had found a way to give himself an escape, if he needed it. Clever boy.

“Excellent plan,” Odin said, and Frigga threw him an approving smile. Loki nodded gratefully before changing the subject. His family let him do it and they spoke about other things.

Odin sent a carefully worded letter to Laufey the next morning. He mentioned nothing about Loki directly, merely said he had a desire to speak with Laufey on both political and personal matters. It took three days for his raven to bring back a reply. Laufey agreed but set out his own terms- the meeting would take place on Jotunheim and he would bring no more than a personal guard with him. It was expected and Odin agreed without pause. He informed the other King he would be arriving two mornings from then.

The night before he was to leave, Odin took Loki aside, “Is there any message you’d like to pass on?”

Loki hesitated, but tentatively replied, “Tell him...tell him I wish to meet him as more than just an official from Asgard. If he would agree, I would like to meet him and his other sons as family. I would like to try and see if we can fit into each other’s lives.”

Odin knew he should feel happy that Loki had taken the news so well. He could have reacted so much more poorly to the news that he had been kept from the truth. It could have broken him, undone all the work they had put into making Loki understand he belonged in their family. Instead Loki apparently accepted it and was willing to reach out. This should have pleased Odin, but instead he felt uneasy. He showed none of that to Loki.

He left for Jotunheim the next morning without anyone in Asgard but his family, his two guards, and the gatekeeper even aware he was going. When he arrived at the bifrost site, it wasn’t Laufey who was waiting for him. There were three giants there, two warriors and one member of the nobility, if Odin had to guess. It was a slight, the king not meeting here himself, probably the only one Laufey could make. Odin understood pride and the need to show power even if you didn’t have it, and he said nothing. He sensed his warriors inching towards their swords and waved them off. Laufey was no fool, not now.

“Greetings Odin, King of Asgard,” the giant in front said, “I am to bring you to Laufey King.”

“Then I thank you for it.”

They walked in silence, and Odin saw the devastation he had left behind. The capital, once tall and glittering, was still half crumbled buildings. The sky was too dark for the summer season, and the plains around them were devoid of life. When he reached for it, Odin could feel that even the magic of the realm was pulled taunt, rips already appearing in the fabric. Without the source of its power, Jotunheim had never been able to recover from the war. For the first time in a long time, guilt coiled in Odin’s belly. There had been no other choice open to him, but that didn’t mean what happened here was just. He wondered if they blamed him, or if they blamed their king for the hubris that had brought them here.

Laufey was waiting for him on his throne. It had never been inside, had always been below the sky instead of hidden behind walls and roofs, so that all Jotunheim would see their ruler’s judgements. The few times Odin had been here before war broke out, the place had been teaming with life, as royals and commoners alike searched out their king. It was open to all, but it was nearly empty this time. Besides Laufey, there were only a handful of warriors lining the walls and his two sons standing on either side of him. His queen was nowhere in sight. Odin wondered how much of the population still resided in this broken place, or if they had moved on.

“Allfather,” Laufey said, and he sounded older than the last time they had been together, at the end of the war. Even then, defeated in battle, Laufey had not sounded so weary.

“King Laufey,” they stared at each other for a long time, before Odin sighed, “there are things I wish to discuss with you.”

“So your message said,” he replied, but gave no permission. He waited for Odin to continue, and he grit his teeth and did.

“It is of great importance to both your family and your realm.”

He saw the interest in that, and the brief flicker of confusion. The giant would never assume he would be willing to return the casket, and what could he mean about his family? Odin would have smiled at the great trick, had so much not been depending on this succeeding.

Finally, Laufey rose from his throne and stepped down from it, “Very well. Alone,” he added when it looked like both Odin’s and his own guards were about to follow the two kings.

Behind him, Odin’s guards protested. One of Laufey’s sons -the older one, Odin thought, who had been just a little older than Thor during the war- hissed ‘Father!’ In protest. He looked at him and his brother and searched for Loki in their faces. They were broad and tall, perfect giants. But in their faces, he saw some of his own son. Later, he would search Laufey’s and try to find the same resemblance.

Both kings waved the protests away and left together. They kept distance between them, Laufey leading the way to his war room. When they were both inside, he took a seat at the head of the table and Odin climbed onto the oversized chair opposite him, cheeks burning at the indignity of feeling like a child in this room meant for people much larger than himself. Laufey smirked and Odin glared, but he said nothing. It was for Loki, he reminded himself to cool his temper.

“Fárbauti?” Odin asked. The queen had always played an active part in the ruling of Jotunheim, even more than the responsibilities Frigga took in Asgard. As Loki’s stepmother, he’d have her here as well.

Pain flashed across Laufey’s face, and at once Odin knew what he would say, “She died. There was a civil war a century ago and she died stopping it.”

“I’m sorry,” and he was. He had had a great deal of respect for Fárbauti, and if he were honest feared her more than he did Laufey.

The other king glared and snarled, “Save your pity. I don’t want it,” Odin let the subject rest, “What do you want Odin?”

He couldn’t put it off any longer, “The casket. I wish to return it to your realm.”

He had never seen a giant stunned speechless before, and he would have chuckled if he knew it wouldn’t offend Laufey.

“What?”

“Your realm has been punished long enough. I will not let it die, and you need the casket to save it. Spells will ensure you cannot use it as a weapon again, but I don’t think you would lead your people into another war,” and if he did, Odin would have no choice but to crush them thoroughly. Laufey knew that, “and if you prove you have no intention of trying to conquer anything then Jotunheim will be opened to the other realms again, beginning with Asgard.”

“Why?” The suspicious voice was the same as the one Loki had given him when Odin first revealed his father’s identity, and that stung a little, “and do not tell me because it’s the right thing to do.”

Odin didn’t, even though that too was true, “The casket isn’t the only thing that should come back to Jotunheim. The day I took it, there was a child in the temple.”

He saw Laufey’s eyes widen and his breath caught in his throat. The other king froze, like the smallest movement would break everything, “What did you do with the child? I searched for the body and it was not there.”

He realized that Laufey hadn’t even realized that it had been a son, “I took him home and raised him as my son.”

He expected the loss of temper- he already had shields up that would prevent Laufey from being able to hurt him, because he wouldn’t deny the giant well justified anger- and barely flinched when Laufey jumped to his feet and roared. He was more startled when the table was pushed aside and he found himself being lifted from the ground by Laufey’s hand around his throat, but he made no move to answer the attack. The spell would stop Laufey and besides that, the other wouldn’t do anything to start a war. Odin let him have his rage- he would feel the same if someone had come and done the same to Thor.

Finally, Laufey’s sense came back to him and he let Odin go. Odin’s landing was less than graceful, though there would be no lasting marks of this encounter. Laufey took a step back, hands clenched at his side and snarl on his face when he growled, “You stole my son.”

Odin could have tried to make it sound better, but wouldn’t insult Laufey by trying, “Yes.”

They were at an impasse then, with one king shaking in rage while the other waited as calmly as he could and tried to find foolproof ways to make this turn out alright.

“Nal was slashed, lying in a pool of her own blood. There were too many sword wounds to count.”

He heard the accusations in Laufey’s voice, “I did not kill her. When I arrived there, only the baby was left alive,” he almost cringed at the description of how his son’s mother had died, “I told my warriors not to harm anyone in the temple if they did not fight back.” 

Laufey snapped, “Of course they fought back. The monks there were sworn to protect the heart of Jotunheim with their lives. That I sent Nal to seek shelter there to give birth would only have made them fight harder. She was part of the king’s guard. I sent her there with the casket to protect the child she was about to have. I underestimated your cruelty Borson- I thought if you wished to commit genocide against us, it would be by the sword, not by leaving us in a dying world,” his snarl broke off, and his voice was quieter, “I sent her there so they’d be safe.”

Odin said nothing to that. He did not justify himself or his actions. Laufey was the one to blame for the casket being taken. The moment he had turned it into a weapon was the moment it became too dangerous to remain on Jotunheim. Odin knew that the best plan was to keep the casket indefinitely, because Laufey was clever enough to find a way to use it for war once more, if he desired it. Perhaps if Odin had done differently with Loki, he never would have returned it at all. 

“He was hidden in the chambers behind the casket, unharmed. There was no sign that an Asgardian set foot in there before I heard his cries. Your people stopped the attackers from finding your son. They died defending him and succeeded.” Odin didn’t want to know what the Asgardian soldiers would have done had they found the babe. He told himself that they would have just left him there to die, as harsh as it was. Yet Odin knew what bloodlust could do to a warrior, and what horrors it could make them perpetuate. He was aware that, had Loki been found by anyone else, he could have been killed as brutally as the others in the temple had been. 

Laufey just looked at him for a long time, perhaps trying to decide if he should believe Odin in that or not. Odin did not wish to feel pity for him, knew the other king would hate him for it if he did, but how could he not? All he had to do was imagine how it would have been had the situation been reversed. 

“What does Asgard know? They would not have allowed my son to live in your halls, let alone to call you,” he spit out the last word, so full of hate and rage, “father.”

“All of Asgard knows he’s a Jotun, though none save my wife and gatekeeper know he’s also yours. My people know nothing of his heritage, save his unnamed mother,” and Odin explained the lie he had told, aware that Laufey would not take this story as the people of Asgard had. Odin had made her a martyred mother, not the warrior who had died with a weapon in her hands. He wondered if this was one more sin Laufey would despise him for. 

Laufey said nothing, though the way the temperature dropped with every word Odin spoke told him exactly how the other king felt. When Odin finished, he could only wait for whatever emotion Laufey would unleash on him. Laufey’s laugh was bitter and harsh, “you’re a liar and a thief.”

It was another thing Odin couldn't deny, “Yes. Had I left him here, he would have died. If I told the truth, he would have grown up miserable and under threat. You cannot deny that,” and perhaps that was too ruthless, but Odin would end this meeting with Laufey agreeing with him, no matter how he might seethe and hate him for it. 

“And the boy?” As much as Laufey wished to hide it, Odin could hear the longing in his voice. For all his rage, Laufey was still a father.

“I revealed the truth about you not long ago. He knows nothing of the truth of his mother, and he should not know it. Loki grew up believing that his mother loved him so much that she used her last act to save him no matter what. Don’t take that from him.” 

“You dare tell me-“

“Yes. You do not have to lie, to take her death from her. All I told in my lie was she survived long enough to hand him to me. Her fight to protect him and the casket does not have to wipe that away. Her memory can be both. Is this a lie that disgraces her? Your people care for their children as much as mine do. Would they not praise her for it?”

And what else could Laufey do? If he refused, Odin could walk away and never return, and keep both the casket and Loki on Asgard, far away from Laufey. Even if he had every right, and Odin would readily agree he did, Laufey had too much to lose to push for what was owed to him.

Laufey knew all of that, as much as it filled him with impotent rage, “You took the heart of my realm, you took my son from me, and now you wish for me to let you take my lover’s death from her. It seems I’ve underestimated your cruelty once again.”

“And you underestimate the kindness I am offering you, by giving you the casket and telling you that you have no more need to grieve for a lost son. I’m here because I finally told him the truth about his birth father, and he wishes to meet you and your sons,” It was cruel but efficient, because he saw the way some of Laufey’s pent up anger loosened.

“And what shall I tell my people? How will they accept him, knowing he was raised at your knee? You forced your people to accept him by Nal’s ‘sacrifice’. No matter his blood, my people will never trust a boy you have given back to us at your own leisure. They will think him tainted at best, and a spy at worst. When I admit that I am shocked to find my son back from the dead, they will think he is nothing but a trick, some changeling you found and used magic to pass off as mine.”

“And when I reveal the truth of his parentage on Asgard there will be outrage from some. I have given an enemy’s son a claim to the throne of Asgard and did so knowingly. They can think what they want, as can your own.”

“Says the king secure in his throne, who has not had to survive two civil wars to keep his power,” Laufey snarled, “What will the people of Asgard do? Complain? Such a threat,” Odin had never heard sarcasm from Laufey, and it was too much like Loki, “When mine find out I not only lost everything but was played like a fool? I doubt my line would survive a third attempt, including the boy you dangle in front of me.”

Odin hadn’t considered that, so focused as he was on the need to do as Loki wished. It was a foolish thing to overlook, and he didn’t admit he had. Instead, he made a plan, “So we tell everyone you knew. After I returned to Asgard I realized who he was when he shifted back, and I sent a message to tell you of his fate. Despite your grief, you allowed him to stay. He would have died on Jotunheim if he returned, there is no denying that. As for the worries about his returning, I will announce that it was his idea to return the casket. I told him the truth, and he insisted on returning the casket to Jotunheim to protect his people and to meet his lost family. He made me feel guilty and I agreed. I am still a monster in your peoples’ eyes, and he is a hero.” 

“Another lie,” he said in disgust, “and one you’d bring my son into. Do you expect me to thank you? To tell the realms what a great king you are, protecting my child from the devastation you brought? Will you send him here, expecting me to praise you and pretend I don’t wish you to Hel for what you did?”

Odin was too old and too ruthless to feel that disgust as the lies grew around him, “He’s almost as good a liar as I am, and as cunning as either of us ever were. He will see this lie and agree to it. And no, I expect none of that. You may say whatever you wish about me, about Asgard, to him. You can try and turn him against me, as is your right for what I’ve done. But he is loyal and loved, and to do so will lose whatever future you may have with him. He is not forgiving, Laufey King, and rarely gives second chances,” much like you, Odin thought but didn’t say out loud, “If you agree to keep two lies, ones that aren't even cause for shame, then both your realm and your child will be restored to you.”

“You say restored to me, as though it will mean something after this long. You stole him and became his father before I even knew he had drawn breath. He’ll never be mine.”

“He will always be my son,” Odin confirmed it with more confidence than he actually felt, “but that does not mean there is no place for you in his heart.”

“Get out,” Laufey said, defeated, “I will tell your lies and follow your terms. Now leave.”

They could make any other decisions in letters and through proxies. They did not need to be face to face. In fact, Odin thought this would be the last time he stood in front of Laufey, save perhaps for war. He had done what he had come to do and wouldn’t be able to stand the guilt if he had to face Laufey again. It was best he leave, to let Laufey grieve for all that was lost and all that he was compromising to see this through. It was best to leave before Odin began to let out the guilt that clawed at his heart when he thought about losing his children and knowing he had doomed Laufey to centuries of it.

“Very well,” Odin replied as he left and Laufey turned away, unable to look at him any longer.

“What is his name?” Laufey asked it, not bothering to turn around to ask it.

“Loki.”

“Loki,” Laufey tested the name out, and it did not sound as though he approved. If he had further things to say, it didn’t come out before Odin left the room. 

He fetched his guards and returned directly to Asgard after that. His family was waiting for him when he returned to the palace. They all met in his private study, even Frigga showing her nerves. She saw how weary he was and rested a comforting hand on his arm. Loki stayed silent and waited, while Thor immediately launched into questions.

“Can Loki go? What did he say?”

When Odin replied, it was to Loki, “Laufey will welcome you. He and I will decide the rest of the details through letters.”

“He’s angry,” Loki stated.

“At me, not you. I do not blame him for it, and I hope you will not either,” Odin softened, just a little, “I let him believe his child was dead. I deserve whatever hatred he bestows upon me. Remember that, when you go, and do not judge him harshly for it.”

Loki nodded, uncertain but willing to accept what his father asked him to do, “When do you think I can go?”

“It will take months. There is so much more to arrange than just your visit. Asgard and Jotunheim must be made aware of the truth and have time to accept it. We must create treaties for the return of the casket. It will not be quick,” when Loki’s face fell, Odin suggested, “Perhaps you could write to Laufey before then, to assure him you are true in your plans to come. He would like that, I think,” it hurt to admit the next part, “He grieved for you and loved you. He will not let this chance pass him by.”

Loki nodded, and then let Thor ask more questions. Odin answered them the best he could, until he was too drained to go any further. He waved his sons away, promising him he would give them more answers at dinner. Then he and Frigga retired to their chambers, where Odin sank into a chair and put his head in his hands, “What did I do Frigga?”

All he could do, now that he had gotten his way, was remember the anguish Laufey barely kept hidden under his fury. 

“Something unforgivable,” Frigga replied, wrapping her arms around him, “Something you should never apologize for. You gave Loki a life he would not have had on Jotunheim. That it came at the pain of his father is unfortunate.”

“Am I not a monster for letting Laufey think his son was dead all these years? I could have told him before this, just to let him know his son was alive.”

“And you would have risked Loki in doing it,” She was cold, perhaps by force to deal with the pain they had caused. She loved Loki -he was the child of her heart- and would never apologize for raising him. She wouldn’t feel guilt over it, wouldn’t let it rest on her shoulders like it did on Odin’s, even if she could acknowledge how wrong it truly was, “If Laufey knew before he lost so much power, he would have demanded him back. Whether it makes you a monster doesn’t matter.”

“But if it were reversed, and he had been the one to take Thor?”

Frigga said nothing to that, perhaps because it would make her truly admit their sins or because the thought of losing Thor was too much to bear.

Odin sighed, putting his guilt away for now. He had work to do, “I have to tell Asgard.”

Three days later he did. He informed his council first, and then listened to the varying degrees of initial outrage for the remainder of the meeting. He announced it to the people then, from the front of the palace with a shaking Loki at his side, hand on his shoulder to reassure him that he was safe, and to show the populace that his son had his support. They didn’t stay long enough post announcement for the general shock to wear off. Odin let the news spread from there and allowed Loki to hide in his rooms until it calmed down. There was no mass out cry, though this news was received with even more bewilderment than even Loki’s initial adoption. Those who had never liked Loki saw reason to hate him even more, and more than one comment that just skirted treason was said. Most eventually decided that after being raised in Asgard his entire life it didn’t matter. It was but one more level of strangeness that made up the second prince. The more politically minded suggested it was a clever move on Odin’s part to have a loyal son placed on Jotunheim’s throne after Laufey’s death, and Odin didn’t deny those rumours one way or another- it suited him to have people believe there was more than tender heartedness behind his motives. It kept them more satisfied. Word came from Jotunheim that any who would complain were too desperate to get the casket back to try and prevent it. It was not the acceptance Loki found on Asgard, but it was a start. It meant they would give Loki time to prove himself to the frost giants.

It was close to a year when the final preparations were made and the family stood on the bifrost, the casket held between the two personal guards that would initially accompany Loki to Jotunheim. He was every inch a prince of Asgard when he left, wearing his formal armour and horned helm, the proud look on his face hiding the nerves that Odin knew had kept him up the entire night before. They had already had the formal farewell ceremony, had even had a small going away party the night before, and now all that was left was for him to leave. 

“It’s only a year,” Loki was assuring Frigga, and possibly himself as well, “I’ve been away for longer.”

“And I worried everyday then too,” Frigga replied, hugging him, “it’s a mother’s job.”

“I will be fine,” he promised, “I’ll make you proud.”

“You already make us proud,” she continued as she let him go, cupping his face as she had when he was a child, “but I know you will.”

Loki hugged her again, longer this time, before he turned to Thor, who clapped him on the back and gripped his shoulder, “Try not to embarrass us too much Brother.”

Loki snorted, “As though I’m the one in danger of that. We’ll see how well you do next time you head to Alfheim and I’m not there to drag you from the tavern.” 

Thor just grinned, letting the jab wash over him, “Send word on occasion. Let us know you haven’t accidentally been sat on.” 

“I’d ask you to reply, but you’d have to be far more literate for that.”

“Boys,” Frigga warned, stopping them before their words could change from good natured to a bit sourer, as it was wont to do with the two of them.

“It’s just a jest Mother!” Thor said but stopped anyway. He gave Loki’s shoulder one more heartfelt squeeze before releasing him, “Enjoy yourself Brother.”

“Thank you, Brother,” when Thor finally let go, Loki turned to the last of the group besides Odin. Sigyn stood there, hands held in front of her and shifting awkwardly. She looked up to Loki when he stood before her, and her cheeks turned pink to match his, “I’ll write to you,” he tripped over his words, so unlike himself, and it was adorable.

“Thank you. I’ll write back.”

“I look forward to it,” and with that he bent to give her a quick kiss on the cheek. Their blushes only grew by the time he straightened back up.

Odin saw that Thor opened his mouth to comment, to tease one or both for their attempts at romantic goodbyes. He gave his oldest son a quick glare to stop it, and Thor pouted but stopped. Frigga looked about as happy as the couple, and even Odin smiled at them. 

Finally, Loki came to Odin. The prince drew himself up to his full height before giving him a formal bow, “I won’t let you down my king.”

The formal title hit Odin harder than he thought it would, even as he told himself it was to be expected. This was not just a leisure or personal trip, but also a political one. There had to be an air of formality, even just amongst themselves. But that didn’t stop the fears from clawing at him. It didn’t stop the knowledge that this was the last time Loki would be only his son, that he wouldn’t have to share him with another father. 

Loki, who was so much better at seeing into even the most hidden thoughts must have seen it in Odin’s eyes. He paused a moment, hands twisting in front of him to show his nerves, before Loki hugged him. Odin was stunned, just a little. It had been a long time since they had hugged, and the lack of it made it feel awkward.

“No matter what,” Loki whispered to him, “you will always be my father.”

Odin would not cry, but his eyes stung with tears nonetheless. He squeezed his son tightly, half tempted to not let him go. Finally, he pulled back, and found Loki just looking at him, “And you will always be my son.”

This time it was Loki’s turn to have tears shine in his eyes. He cleared his throat to dispel his emotions, “That’s excellent to know. Now it’s time I’m off.” 

Loki left with one last confident smirk over his shoulder and a command of “Heimdall open the bifrost.”

He wrote throughout his time in Jotunheim, both personal and official letters. He told them what he was learning and doing, and his joy could be read, even when things were not on his side. The people didn’t like him at first, but his magic made them accept him- true magic was rare on Jotunheim. That he used it with the casket to repair centuries worth of damage and ruin got him far. His birth family was complicated, with his elder brother resenting him and his younger fully welcoming, while his father tried but couldn’t completely move past his bitterness. Yet Loki stayed, until a year later, when he returned to Asgard looking like a true prince of Jotunheim.

When the bifrost brought him back to the observatory, Loki was in his true skin, his clan lines prominent against the blue. He had grown his hair long, and had it tied in a loose braid with precious red stones woven in. He was wearing only a traditional loincloth and a fur cloak, pure white and too heavy for the summer heat of Asgard. He had a gold circlet resting on his brow and gold loops on his ears, the formal wear of Jotun royalty. He was smirking, and the look grew when he got reactions from those who waited for him. Frigga just blinked at him, unable to form words. Thor’s mouth fell open in shock as his eyes widened. Sigyn once again flushed red, but Odin guessed it was for a different reason this time. He just stared, and for a moment he was afraid. This was what had worried him, Loki returning Jotun instead of his son. Had he found something to replace them -him- with?

Once a handful of seconds had passed, Loki strode forward and kissed his mother on the cheek, “Hello Mother.”

By then, Frigga had recovered, “This is unexpected.”

When Loki straightened, he was grinning, “That is entirely the point.”

Finally, Thor broke through his shock, “Is this what all the Jotun wear, or have you become an exhibitionist over the past year Brother?”

“Just because you’re too fragile to survive the cold of Jotunheim bearing skin doesn’t mean you should be so envious of those who can.”

Odin saw the way Thor’s eyes narrowed at the challenge to his strength and sighed. He would now have to stop Thor from running around Jotunheim half naked, when he inevitably went with Loki someday. 

Before Thor could accept Loki’s implied challenge, the younger brother had already turned away towards Sigyn. Dramatically, he unclasped the cloak from his shoulders and swung it on to hers. 

“Loki?” She asked, confused but clearly curious.

“It’s tradition,” he explained, “After a long journey, you return with a gift made by your own hand for your…” beloved was the implied word there, and it seemed that the year away and self-discovery hadn’t made his son any better at being romantic in front of an audience. 

“Oh,” Sigyn ran a hand through the fur collar and beamed, “it’s beautiful. Thank you.” 

“I should hope so. It turns out it’s not easy to make one from ice wolves.”

Odin saw how interested Sigyn looked at how Loki could give her even more knowledge. Odin foresaw losing their son’s company for the evening. He didn’t mind- as Frigga always commented, they made a good match.

Finally, Loki came to Odin. Just like he had before he had left, he gave his father a deep bow, “My king,” the formality lessened then, and he gave a little smile, “Father.”

With that one word, Odin’s fear washed away. Asgard was still Loki’s home. He had not been replaced.

“I’m glad you’re home my son.”

“I’m glad to be home.”

They left the observatory then and walked down the bifrost, to where horses waited for them. Thor slung an arm across Loki’s shoulders as they walked, telling his brother all that he had missed since his last letter went out a month ago (and Thor had written, joyfully at first and then with Frigga’s not so gentle reminders near the end). There was nothing much to tell, yet Loki said nothing to stop him. He just let Thor ramble, occasionally rolling his eyes or making a sarcastic comment. Even when Thor began to tease him about riding through Asgard looking like an icicle, Loki allowed it. When they reached the horses, Odin and Loki were placed at the front. Frigga was next in the group, with Thor and Sigyn riding next to each other. Thor made no protest at being last and was already making Sigyn laugh. 

“Do you plan to ride through the city like this?” Odin asked curiously. He would not stop Loki and thought it safe enough while in the company of the king.

“That’s the fun part,” Loki said, eyes bright as they always were when he had a grand trick planned. 

Odin had to admit that it was amusing, riding through the capital and seeing the reaction Loki garnered. Most stopped dead in their tracks, others did the most comical double takes Odin had ever seen. There was an angry face every once and awhile, but it was mostly shock that Loki left in his wake, along with words that stayed whispers until they were long past. Loki was obviously enjoying himself. Odin couldn’t help but chuckle, wondering how long Loki would stay like this. When they reached the palace, the reactions grew less pronounced. Anyone who had been there long enough had grown used to Loki’s shapeshifting antics long ago. Instead, he received a few greetings and welcome backs. That didn’t seem to dampen Loki’s fun, only made him happier. They separated there, with Loki going back to his rooms to wait for the servants to bring his belongings from the Bifrost site. Thor left and Sigyn went to tell the others that Loki had returned. Odin informed his son he would see him in his office in two hours and went to wait, and Frigga followed him.

Once inside, all the tension drained from him. Whatever worries had still been gnawing at him, they disappeared now that it was over. Frigga hugged him, and he could feel the relief in her body as well. He had not realized she had been as nervous as he was.

“Everything is fine,” he finally said.

“Yes,” they were silent for a long time before Frigga asked, “What now?”

“We have to further our treaties with Laufey. I promised to allow Jotunheim to establish ties with other worlds again. I’ll speak to Alfheim about that. They are the most likely to agree. More than that, Loki’s happy. He will want to return eventually, perhaps sooner than we’d expect.”

“Will you let him go back soon?” She frowned, not happy with that idea.

“I think he’ll be here for a while yet,” Loki seemed as though he had missed them, and would stay longer for more time with Sigyn, at the very least. Plus he still had a lot to brag about, and wouldn’t leave before that ran out, “but when he asks to go back, I’ll allow it,” He was too smart to ask to go at a time when a commitment to Asgard would make travel impossible, “If he wants it, I’ll make him ambassador when all the treaties are in place,” Loki needed a purpose, and this would give him one. 

They talked about the feast they would throw to celebrate Loki’s successful return, and then Odin made plans to have Loki attend the next council meeting to go over what had been accomplished on a diplomatic level. Eventually, two hours passed, and Loki knocked on his door. Frigga left them both, and they sat at the same table they had two years before, when Odin first told Loki the truth about his father. The atmosphere was much more relaxed this time, and there was no worry gnawing at Odin. Loki was back to his Asgardian self.

“Was that only for show?” Odin asked.

“Of course it was,” Loki admitted his mischief easily, “at least for now. I plan to take that form whenever it suits me, like I do all others. It just seems that the heat is terrible in my Jotun skin, and I’ll need to strengthen the cooling spells on me before I can walk around for long.”

“You are comfortable in it,” it wasn’t surprising, not when Loki was already a shapeshifter. He had explained it to Odin once, and had said he was always Loki, no matter the shape, “I thought you might not be, given you’ve never gone into it before.”

Loki looked a little sheepish, “That’s...not exactly true. I did change into it when I was younger. Thor convinced me to so I could appease his curiosity. I didn’t mind it, but it didn’t feel like me, not really. My mind had decided that I was Aesir and it was nothing more than skin, so my mind resisted the shape. I only did it once.”

“And now?”

“I am Aesir and I am Jotun, and I acknowledge that now,” he grinned, “I am Loki.”

l.l.l.l.l.l.

Loki returned to Jotunheim a year later, a handful of fellow mages with him to help with Jotunheim’s restoration. Loki handpicked the mages who had no ties to the last war, who had no grudges and would not be angered by stepping onto the icy plains of Jotunheim. Odin approved of his choices and when issues inevitably came, Loki solved them before Odin was even informed of them. When they came back six months later, Loki and the others looked exhausted but proud, even if there was still so much left to go. Odin had never been prouder of his son.

There were small, quick visits here and there, until Loki went to Jotunheim and returned with emissaries from the other realm. Four Jotun came, tall and proud, two nobles, one fierce warrior that had fought in the great war, and to Odin’s shock, Laufey’s youngest son. That was a level of trust that Asgard had not earned, not yet. Only Loki could have convinced Laufey of it, or at least promised he’d keep his brother safe if the younger had asked Laufey himself. Loki had said that Bylister wanted to see the realms, so perhaps this had been his idea. There was great pomp and circumstance when the representatives met Odin and his council in the throne room. They were polite but tense, and Loki’s honeyed words helped on both sides. His son proved his worth as a politician in that one meeting, if anyone had doubted it before. When they were done, Loki led the Jontar to their quarters, and Odin watched from his throne.

“I’ve set up the guest rooms closest to my section of the palace,” Loki explained, “and you each have a mirror there that will contact me immediately if you say my name into it. I’ve put up temperature and protection spells myself,” he paused, “Oh, and I’ve seen that all the furniture has been re-scaled to fit your sizes.” 

“Do you expect trouble, to need those protection spells?” One of the nobles, Thrym, asked. 

“No, but I’d rather over prepare for nothing than have the worst happen. It was I who convinced my father it was time for this, and if anything were to happen to any of you, the blood is on my hands,” he showed them to their rooms, save for the prince, “you’re family,” Loki explained, “you’ll stay in the royal wing,” Bylister was put in the empty room near Loki’s quarters. 

The whole walk there, Jotunheim’s youngest prince spoke excitedly about things in Asgard and what he wanted to see. The list was long and varied, and from where he watched, Odin smiled at the child-like enthusiasm. He didn’t let himself think that he was the reason this boy’s wanderlust had been suppressed for so long.

“I’ll make sure you’ll see everything while you’re here,” Loki promised with an eyeroll, “We’ll start with the outskirts after breakfast.” 

When Loki and Bylister walked into the royal dining room the next morning, none of his family were surprised. What did throw them off was the sight of the giant in the cozy room, and the realization that they had completely overlooked finding a way to have the table accommodate him. Bylister must have realized their train of thought, because after he gave them a respectful bow, he grinned and said, “I can sit on the floor easily enough. I can’t look any sillier than Loki does when he sits in chairs too big for him at our table on Jotunheim.”

Thor snorted and Loki glared at him. Odin internally chuckled but didn’t voice it. They all sat, and Loki used magic so Bylister’s plate and utensils grew to a size that fit him. The silence was awkward at first, but when the food arrived and Bylister took his first bite and exclaimed, “Oh! This is so sweet! What is it?”

“Pomegranate fruit,” Loki explained, “it is grown in Vanaheim and we have it imported in.”

“I’ll have to insist Father put that on the list of items he’ll want to trade for when we open up to Vanaheim!”

The boy’s excitement was endearing, and with every new dish it grew. Frigga smiled liked a charmed aunt and offered to take him to the orchards to sample even more. When he thanked her and called her majesty, she only said, “You may call me Frigga, son of Laufey. Despite any bitterness between your father and us, you are Loki’s brother, and it makes you family.”

Odin should have protested, for that was surly too far of a proclamation to make. Calling one of Laufey’s heirs family, even in the symbolic sense, could cause too many problems. But seeing the shining joy on Loki’s face at the pronouncement, Odin simply nodded in agreement, even if he did not extend the same courtesy. 

They spoke for a bit after the meal was done, regarding their plans for the day, “I’ve never seen a horse before, outside Loki’s shapeshifting,” Bylister said after they said their first stop would be the stables, “we do not have the vegetation to sustain them on Joutnheim,” his eyes glinted ever so slightly, “I wish to see what exactly has Loki’s Sigyn so enamored with them.” 

“I am going to feed you to Nidhogg!” Loki hissed while Thor bellowed in laughter.

“We will go into the forests after that and spend the day exploring. Ullr is off duty and will accompany us. Sigyn as well, since she does not know how the horses will react to Bylister,” Loki said through grit teeth, “would you like to join us Thor?”

Odin was cautious, waiting for the answer. Thor was no selfish child, had been able to share Loki’s attention for many years. But that was with friends, not another brother.

“Shall we make it a hunt as well? Bringing something back for the feast would impress,” Thor replied without hesitation.

Bylister didn’t mind and was excited to hunt new game. Loki shrugged and said, “I’ll send word to Ullr to bring his bow and to Sigyn to see if she can find horses suited to a forest hunt.” 

Thor and Bylister spoke about weapons and Thor was impressed when the Jotun explained they did not carry them but made them from ice when needed. He demonstrated by creating his preferred weapon, a club. They should have all jumped to their feet and called for guards, ready to defend themselves as a frost giant drew a weapon in front of the royal family. Instead, Odin watched as Thor demanded Loki demonstrate as well, and then examined the ice knife he created. After the three of them left, Odin and Frigga stayed behind to talk.

“He’s sweet,” Frigga said, “I would not have expected that of a child of Laufey or Farbauti.”

“I’m glad Loki has found a brother like that.”

Later that night, the group returned with a boar slung over Bylister’s shoulder, laughing. At the feast, when Thor saw his friends, he declared to the whole of Asgard, “My friends! Congratulate me! I began the day with one brother and now I have two!” 

The rest of the trip went well, on both a political and personal level. Negotiations with the Jontar were successful, with Odin giving permission for the giants to open trade with Alfheim and Vanaheim without Asgard’s interference. Bylister enjoyed his visit and charmed a large part of Asgard by being so honest about his reactions to the realm. It stoked their pride.

It was only fair that on Loki’s next visit, Thor finally followed his brother to Jotunheim. Odin couldn’t lie to himself and say he didn’t worry about the havoc Thor could cause. Thor was better than he ever had been, but there was still a temper under his charming grins. Some would not even attempt civility on Jotunheim. There wouldn’t be outright violence, Odin didn’t think, but few would be gracious to Odin’s true born son and heir. Laufey would be civil, at best, and Odin hoped it wouldn’t set Thor off. Odin could only put his trust in his sons.

His trust was well founded. No war was set off, and Thor returned telling the wonders of Jotunheim to anyone who would listen. He was loud and boisterous, and any Aesir who heard couldn’t help but picture Jotunheim as one of the jewels of the Nine Realms. Within days of Thor’s return, Odin had countless requests for people and traders to be counted on the list of acceptable travelers in the trade treaty between the two realms. 

In private, Odin asked for Thor’s opinion, the one he couldn’t share with the people, not if he wanted to keep Jotunheim in a positive light. Thor was serious when he answered, a future king, not merely a traveler, “There’s no sign of damage. The giants have used the casket well. It’s a beautiful realm Father, and the people were weary of me, but rarely hostile. The ones who hated me, Loki made sure to keep away from me, I think. It’s almost like he doesn’t trust me,” he said the last part as a joke.

“I trust your brother to know the people to keep you away from. What of Laufey?”

“I saw little of him,” Thor admitted, a little guilty, “he gave no offense, but his hatred was obvious. The king was as little respectful as he could get away with, and it was clear he did not want me there. Yet he made no complaints or tried to drive me away. It’s why Loki suggested a tour of the realm after only a few days in the capital.”

Odin had expected that and was not affronted about his son’s treatment. It was a testament to Laufey’s love of Loki that he would even allow Odin’s son to enter his realm in the first place, “Did you see him with Loki?” Loki always assured him the relationship between him and his birth father was a good one, but Odin still wanted confirmation from another source. 

Thor looked less grave, “I rarely had a chance to see them together privately, but Laufey was always attentive to him. Whatever anger and hatred he felt faded from his face when they spoke together. Loki was always comfortable with him, always at ease. When we left for our tour, Laufey did not hesitate to embrace both his sons, regardless of who else was there to witness it.”

Odin was relieved that Loki hadn’t hidden the truth from him. Only a few years before, knowing for sure Loki had a good relationship with his other father would have gnawed at him. Now he only felt content that his son had that. It seemed it wasn’t only Thor who had grown in recent years, “And what of Laufey’s heir?” Unlike Bylister, Helblindi had never asked to follow Loki to Asgard. Loki rarely spoke about him, only shrugging and saying they did not get along well and did not spend much time together. 

Thor frowned and took longer to answer. He was more careful with his words, “At first he reminded me solely of Laufey, but he doesn’t have the same rage as his father. It is hard to tell- he is like Loki, in how he can hide his true feelings. He gave me no hint of how he felt about me, though I caught some of his feelings towards Loki. He does not like him but trusts him enough to leave him alone with both Laufey and Bylister, who it is clear he is very protective of. He respects Loki too, I think, but it is a begrudging kind of respect.” 

“And what do you think he will be like as king?” When both heirs took their respective crowns someday, they would have to deal with each other, monarch to monarch. 

“I think he will be pragmatic, as Laufey is now. I think he will do what he must for his realm. Loki could tell you more. But unless he causes some harm to Loki, I will be able to work with him fairly.”

They talked for a little longer, and Odin was proud of all Thor had taken in and thought of while traveling. He even gave some suggestions for improving realm relations further, ones that not even Odin or Loki had thought of. He dismissed Thor with a final bit of praise, finished the paperwork on his desk, and went to find Frigga. She was in her weaving room. When he entered, her ladies-in-waiting curtseyed and left, and Odin sat beside his wife as she continued to weave.

“To what do I owe the visit my love?” 

“It’s been long enough. I think it’s time we officially named Loki ambassador to Jotunheim. He has proven himself capable, and to delay his appointment any longer would soon become insulting.”

“Have you spoken to Loki about it?”

“Not yet, but he knows it’s coming. I’ll ask him officially tonight.”

Loki said yes, as Odin knew he would. The excitement was easy to see on his son’s face, the eagerness, “When I was younger, I feared being in Thor’s shadow forever. I always thought you’d want me to stay and be his advisor. But you’ve given me my own path, where I can shine on my own. Thank you, Father.” 

Odin wondered what would have happened if he hadn’t, if he hadn’t taken the initiative to help Loki find a calling where he belonged. What would have happened if he had lied even more than he already had? Whatever it was, he doubted it would have resulted in such a brilliant smile on his younger son’s face. 

The announcement was made, glasses raised in toasts, and the first official meeting as ambassador arranged for a month later. All was going well, until a week later when he stumbled into Loki. Odin wasn’t looking for Loki but found him sitting on the steps leading to Frigga’s garden. He meant to say a quick hello and leave him to his thoughts, but Odin paused when he took stock of him. Loki was hunched onto himself, a complete bottle of wine grasped loosely in his hand. Looking at his son, Odin was concerned. 

“Loki?”

When Loki looked up, Odin was startled to see tears on his cheeks. It had been a long time since Odin had seen his son cry, probably not since he was a little boy. Loki rarely showed his emotions this way, and if he had to let anyone see him this way, it was Frigga. Odin was ready to apologize and back away, to give Loki his privacy, but the devastation on Loki’s face stopped him. Awkwardly, Odin went down and sat beside him and waited. If Loki wanted to speak, then Odin would listen. If he wanted to stay silent, then Odin would provide a comforting presence. 

“Sigyn can’t be an ambassador’s wife.”

Odin took that in and knew what it meant. An ambassador led a life of movement, splitting their time according to their duties. When Loki took the role, he would spend even more time away from Asgard. His family would either have to travel with him and always be a little unsettled or make a home on Asgard where they would spend their time waiting for him to return or preparing for him to leave again. 

“She loves traveling to Jotunheim, but not for life. She wants a stable home and a family, and something solid to build it on.” 

Sigyn, with her love of horses and nature, who spent many hours tending to both. Odin could not see her leaving them for too long, nor would she have children with a husband who would not always be there. She would not put her life on hold, not even for the man she loved. 

“I’m sorry Loki,” Odin said as he wrapped an arm around him and let Loki cy into his shoulder.

“I understand why. I can’t ask her to. But it hurts Father. It hurts so much.”

“Heartbreak always does my son.”

Loki cried for a bit longer, before he dried his tears and headed off into the night. Odin hoped it was for bed but worried it would be to finish the bottle of wine. Either way, he let him go. His son was a grown man. 

The next morning Loki was hungover as well as heartbroken. Thor and Frigga already knew, from the gentle way they treated him. Loki said little about Sigyn, only to make sure they knew there was no reason to be angry at her. No matter what she was his friend and he wanted her to be happy. Frigga was distraught that her perfect match had fallen through, but both Odin and his wife were thankful it had ended now, before there were too many strings to untangle. 

It was a month later when Odin ran into Sigyn coming out of the stables. The girl froze, eyes going wide and terrified. It looked like she wanted nothing more than to run, “Your…your majesty,” she managed to stammer.

Odin felt pity for her,” Sigyn,” his voice was gentle, but she didn’t relax, “There is not one of us who thinks of you any differently,” Sigyn looked hopeful, but barely so, so Odin continued, “somethings are not meant to be, not when people want different things. The life you want is an admirable one, even if it isn’t one you’ll find with Loki.”

“I love him. I do.” 

“Love is not always enough, as much as we all wish it would be.”

She started crying then, and once again Odin was left wondering what to do. In the end, he hugged her as well- she was still Loki’s childhood friend and his almost daughter-in-law. Finally, she did relax, “I know it doesn’t feel like it now,” Odin repeated what Frigga had already told Loki, “but your heart will heal, and you’ll think of your time together with joy. You’ll be friends, who maybe have a wistful feeling of regret on occasion for what could have been, but will toast the other when they find love again. You’ll both find someone you love just as fiercely, but who will give you what you need.” 

After that meeting, he didn’t see Sigyn for a year. He looked on at her from a far, to make sure she was alright. Loki went to Jotunheim as planned, and the distance seemed to help them both. When Loki returned, Sigyn was amongst his friends to welcome him home. They did not touch, but gave each other stilted yet kind smiles, and each was sincere when they wished the other well. They spent time apart then, finding different ways to work through their heartache. For Sigyn, it was by focusing on training her horses until they were renowned champions through the realms. For Loki, it was indulging first in a quick fling with Lorelei before she left to be trained on Nornheim, then an even quicker one with Ullr before his regiment was stationed on the boarders of Svartalfheim, and afterwards a handful of lovers in various realms. No illegitimate children came from it, so neither Odin nor Frigga said anything. Finally, there came a name day celebration for Amora and both Loki and Sigyn went. They spent the night talking and laughing like they used to, not a hint of hurt between them, no left-over romance. 

(Many years later, Sigyn would dance with Loki at his wedding and be beloved Aunt Sigyn to his children. Years later than that, it would be Loki who would give the blessing at Sigyn and Thoric’s wedding and was named godfather to their first born. Their children would grow together and be inseparable)

When Odin stopped to wish his son’s friend a happy name day and saw Loki and Sigyn so friendly together, he rejoiced. Then he saw the self-satisfied smirk Amora was sending them and grew worried, “Is that your doing?” he asked the woman quietly.

“Why your majesty, are you accusing me of using magic on my friends?” She said in mock outrage. Amora had never been cowed by him, even as a child. It was what made him like her and be wary of her at the same time, “but no,” she said seriously, “I just pushed them into conversation together. Their hearts healed a long time ago and they hadn’t noticed. The only thing that would make them realize it is if they sat down and really talked,” she must have realized how sincere she sounded, and gave a flippant laugh, “it was such a bore, the way the two of them were acting. Someone had to do something.” 

He allowed her the attempt at covering up her kindness, “Happy name day Lady Amora. Goodnight.”

“Thank you your majesty and you as well.”

The next time Loki was set to leave for a diplomatic visit, he came to his father with a request, “I wish to go a month early, for leisure, with Amora as my guest.”

Odin raised an eyebrow. He had no reason to say no, but he was curious, “And may I ask why?”

Amora, standing beside Loki, answered, “I’ve heard word of a powerful Jotun sorceress. I’d like to seek her out and learn from her, since the Norn queen only takes one student at a time, and I must keep up with Lorelei somehow.” 

“And I suppose you wish to learn as well?” He asked his son. 

“When have I ever missed the opportunity to learn more magic?”

“Very well. The two of you may go early, and once the month is up, Loki will return to his duties and Amora to Asgard.”

The two mages grinned at each other, like school children being told they had the day off. As they left, Odin heard them making plans. Odin just hoped the two of them wouldn’t get into too much trouble.

“They’re not foolish children anymore,” Frigga assured him afterwards, “They understand limits, even if they like to push them. They won’t get themselves or the Jotun killed.”

“What about maimed?”

“Well,” Frigga laughed, “maybe a little worry is needed.”

When Amora returned from Jotunheim, Odin gave her a few days to rest before calling her to him. She arrived, and even a quick glance could tell him that her power had grown. She had succeeded in getting the sorceress to teach her. Odin asked about it, because he was curious about this new ice mage, and because he knew a Jotun with too much power could be a threat, if she were to turn against them. 

“Her name in Angrboda. She’s our age and an orphan. She takes some of her power from living in the Iron Wood, but it’s mostly her. She can summon the spirit of Jotunheim and taught Loki to do the same.” 

Loki had reached the peak of Jotun magical power. All Jotunheim would celebrate their prince, because with that no one could doubt his place in Jotunheim. He was chosen by the realm itself, and a true Jotun. Intentionally or not, Loki had forever secured his place in Jotunheim through his thirst for knowledge. By doing so, he had made himself probably the most powerful sorcerer in the Nine Realms. It was staggering, just what his son had done. He had achieved a greatness not even Odin could have expected. 

“And you?”

“I could not learn that,” she said in disappointment, “but I know more about ice magic than any Asgardian,” there was well earned arrogance there, “with your permission, I plan to return to her as well. Our deal was that we would teach her in exchange.”

“And will Loki go as well?”

Amora grinned her Cheshire grin, “Oh, most certainly. Loki was quite taken with her…teaching skills.” 

Odin’s eyebrows rose at that little comment the implication of it. He dismissed Amora after that.

“Taken, she says?” Frigga said when Odin told her, “that sounds far more serious than the relations he’s been having since he and Sigyn ended.” 

“If it’s true, what do you think of it?”

Frigga thought about it, “He and Sigyn were a better match in Asgard’s eyes, but if Loki were to marry a Jotun, it looks better in his role as ambassador,” she paused, “and if he comes to love her, who cares? He has less need to marry for politics than Thor does.”

Odin couldn’t help but laugh, “Listen to us, speaking of love, when we don’t even know if this is just some passing fancy.”

When Loki returned, Frigga made a passing comment about the Jotun and his time studying with her. When her name was said, Loki’s cheeks reddened. When Loki’s attention was elsewhere, Frigga looked over their son’s head and gave Odin a satisfied smirk. Neither called Loki on it, even as he returned to see the sorceresses again, eventually without Amora going with him. They waited for Loki to tell them the news of his new lady love himself, though he seemed in no rush. Odin and Frigga pretended not to hear Thor tease him about it. 

As time passed, Loki’s reputation as an ambassador grew. Other realms took notice and requested he come, even if it was not in an official capacity. There would be little official diplomacy accomplished, but they could see Loki at his best. Loki begged to go. It had been too long since he had been able to travel at will to anywhere but Jotunheim, and he itched to do so again.

“Please Father. I will behave myself of course, and I’ve long promised Bylister a tour of the realms! A giant such as him would make a wonderful guard, if you worry about my safety. Besides, wouldn’t it be good for the people of other realms to meet a Jotun in person, and who is a better example than my brother?”

Loki was too excited for him to have the heart to say no, “Only if Laufey agrees, then you have my permission.” 

Between Loki and Bylister’s arguments, Laufey let his two youngest sons go. There were only two realms barred to them, Midgard and Helheim. Even Nornheim was open to them, thanks to Lorelei’s direct request to the queen. There was little there to see, but they were treated well, and Loki was able to see Lorelei demonstrate the magic she had learned. From Nornheim they went to Svartalfheim, a realm still hostile to Asgard and yet one that Loki had managed to charm his way into having an open invitation long ago. They wandered the underground caverns that made up the cities, a rare sight for two who were not dark elves. They went to Muspelheim for less than a day, unable to stand the heat of the fire realm for too long. They went to see the famed lava fields and then they were gone. With the three hardest realms out of the way, the two of them could take a more leisurely pace, and so they did. Loki sent letters back, telling Odin and Frigga all their adventures. He sent letters back to Thor that added in the more reckless parts of the adventures that it was probably better their parents did not know. They would spend the fall in Alfheim, which was famed for the ways the leaves changed colours. They would end their time in Vanaheim, to spend the gentle winter as guests at Baldur’s estate. Loki was excited to see his friend’s new child for the first time.  
After every letter, Odin would feel happiness as his son described all they did. He had not been so endearingly excited for anything since he was a boy. What Odin found strange was that some of that fondness was for Bylister as well. Frigga, of course, noticed it. 

“It’s a good thing you know. It shows how much you’ve changed, and that we need not just tolerate the Jontar, but be friends with them as well.” 

“I just never imagined I would ever come to care for any kin of Laufey. If only they were all like Bylister, so easy to like.” 

“Laufey does not have the luxury, his eldest either. A king can’t be as kindhearted as Bylister. A king must be harder than him, to make the hard choices, even when they are terrible and wrong,” she put a hand on his cheek, smiling sadly, “it is a lesson we must start teaching Thor.” 

Thor did not to have to lose his joy or tender heartedness, but soon he would have to realize they were things he might have to set aside one day to rule. If the realms stayed at peace, he might never have to do terrible things like Odin had. Odin prayed to the Norns he never had to but had lived too long to believe that peace would last forever. 

“Later. Let’s just enjoy hearing about Loki for now.” 

l.l.l.l.ll. 

They had been in Vanaheim for only two weeks when the doors of Odin’s bedroom flung open while he and Frigga slept. They both jolted awake, and Odin saw Heimdall standing there, panting. He had run from the bifrost himself instead of taking the time of calling and using a messenger. That could only mean disaster. 

“There was an attack in Vanaheim. Prince Loki has been injured.”

Frigga gasped in horror, grabbing onto Odin’s arm to steady herself. Odin flung it off without noticing, standing and dressing in a rush. A pause, and then Frigga was doing the same. Only then did he truly notice her, “Frigga-“someone needed to stay in the realm, to guard and lead Asgard in case this attack became something further. 

“He is my son,” her voice was cold fury, a mother bear willing to kill for her cub. There would be no stopping her. 

“After you’ve sent us to Vanaheim, wake Thor and tell him he’s in charge of Asgard until we return. Tell him to call the council and generals and have them ready, just in case this is an attack against Asgard.”

They arrived in Vanaheim to an armed guard who escorted them straight to the palace, where the king was waiting for them, “King Odin, Queen Frigga.”

“What happened?” Odin demanded.

“They were in my daughter’s sitting room when five armed assassins broke in and attacked. Loki was injured and Baldur was killed fighting them back.”

He heard Frigga’s sharp gasp and Odin took a moment to feel a stab of grief for the young man. Baldur, the gentle soul who won his lady love not through feats of strength but through poetry and song. The one Loki always sought out if he needed romantic advice. The one who gave generously and tried to improve the lives of those in his charge. Baldur was no warrior, and yet he stood bravely and fought to save the ones he loved. The fact that his light had been taken from this world would make the universe itself weep.

“Take me to my son.”

As they strode through the halls, the king explained all that had happened and all that had been done to save Loki, “He was stabbed through the side by a sword, when he turned to throw his knives at one of the attackers going after my daughter. When he fell to the ground, Baldur stood above him, holding an ice weapon Loki had created for him the moment the attack began, defending Loki from further harm. He was cut down by a poison dart to the heart. My guards arrived in time to see my son-in-law fall. Even had they been able to heal the wound, the poison would have killed him anyway,” the pain in the king’s voice couldn’t be concealed, “Our healers were luckier with Loki. They kept him alive and were able to seal the wound. He is stabilized but he hasn’t woken up.” 

“And what of your daughter and grandson?” Frigga had the mind to ask. Odin hadn’t thought to. 

“Prince Bylister was able to get Nana and the baby away when they were first attacked. The prince was injured, but they are both safe.” 

They reached the healing wards and were led into Loki’s room. Their son was laying on a bed in his true form, but even the blue was paler than it should have been. There were bandages across his stomach and side, mostly clean but for small crimson stains leaking through. He wasn’t moving, save for the small rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.

“Loki…” Frigga was strangled as she rushed to his bedside.

Bylister was sitting on the other side of the bed, hunched over and miserable. He jumped to his feet when he saw them come in, sending his chair clattering to the floor, “King Odin! Frigga!” 

Odin had only had a passing thought of Bylister and felt some guilt he had forgotten all about him, but was still glad that the other prince seemed generally unharmed, save for the bandages Odin caught a glimpse of covering the back of his right shoulder.

“I’m sorry!” The Jotun cried in anguish, “I’m sorry!”

Whatever happened, Odin doubted it was his fault, “What happened Bylister?”

“We were playing cards, the four of us. The baby was sleeping. When the killers rushed the room, it was too crowded for me to be able to fight. Loki told me to get Nana and the baby away and alert the guard! I did as I was told, but I should have stayed!” 

“You did the right thing,” Odin said, and it was true. He looked right into the Jotun’s eyes, “they were the most defenseless and you were able to cover them best. You protected them,” Frigga was sitting on the edge of the bed, gripping Loki’s hand and brushing hair off his face. Odin stood behind her, bracing himself with a hand on her shoulder, “Bylister, return to Jotunheim and tell Laufey what has happened and that we will return Loki to Asgard as soon as the healers here permit us.” 

Bylister clearly wanted to protest but nodded his head grimly and rushed from the room.

Odin looked down at his son, and the adrenaline that had propelled him here disappeared. When was the last time he had seen Loki like this, injured and so pale and still? When he was a child and broken his collar bone after falling from a tree? After a boarder skirmish when he took two arrows to the back? When he had caught the Spring Fever, a mild annoyance to an Aesir but potentially deadly to the Jontar, as they all found out? When was the last time Odin feared for the life of his child like this?

“Loki,” he choked out, voice cracked. He heard Frigga start to cry, quiet but steady, “my son.”

The Vanir king came to stand beside him, a respectful distance away, “My healers tell me the wound was deep but hit nothing vital. They say he will recover fully save for a scar as a reminder. They have him under a sleeping draught now. It is meant to last until the wound has healed enough that it will only cause minimum pain.” 

“Can we take him home?”

“My healer will come back soon and say if it’s safe to move him.”

The healer came back two hours later, checked Loki, and said they could take him back to Asgard in the morning. Frigga did not leave Loki’s bedside in all the time they waited, but Odin got answers, “Are any left alive?”

“One,” was the answer, “he’s in the dungeon, waiting to be questioned,” the king said, looking Odin in the eye, “and we will get answers from him,” there was a vicious promise, not only of answers but vengeance. 

“Make it painful,” was Odin’s own vicious reply, and it was wordlessly agreed upon.

When the sun rose, they took Loki back to Asgard with the help of the Vanir healers and guards. Thor was waiting for them as soon as they were at the palace, pale and anxious. When he saw his parents coming, Loki being carried on a stretcher close being them, Thor looked -for a moment- like he would collapse.

“He’s alive my son,” Frigga said, and the relief on Thor’s face was enough to break Odin. They hadn’t even thought to send word back to Thor that his brother still lived. 

Seeing Thor look so distraught, so torn, Odin made a decision, even if his every instinct as a father told him not to, “Stay with your mother and brother Thor. I will do what needs to be done,” Odin needed to be king first, yet it was not Thor’s job, not yet. He could just be a worried brother who could stay by his little brother’s side.

Odin dealt with the council and informed them all that he knew, which was very little at the moment. They all worried what it could mean, who exactly the attack was against, and if anything else would happen in its wake. He could tell them nothing save for the details of the attack itself. Details given, he sent his ravens to Vanaheim to see the interrogation and bring back the details when there were answers. They came back only an hour later, and Odin watched the memory in their eyes. 

It was a shame the prisoner had admitted to everything so quickly, Odin thought without mercy, for he took great pleasure in seeing the torture he was put through, and thought he deserved more, for what he had done to Loki. For what he had done to Baldur and Bylister, and for leaving sweet Nana a widow and their child fatherless. 

He had just explained to his council when a messenger came into the hall. It was the one Heimdall used to carry messages, “The Gatekeeper sends word that King Laufey demands entrance to Asgard.” 

It caused a stir, but Odin knew it was coming. He knew it the moment he sent Bylister to tell Laufey Loki would be in Asgard. Loki was Laufey’s son- he would see him, all else be damned. Odin would do the same, if it were reversed, “Tell Heimdall to let him through, and then escort him immediately to Prince Loki’s chambers,” the boy’s eyes widened, probably at fear he would be the sole guide to a former enemy king, His council all protested him allowing it. Other Jotun were one thing, even a prince, but Laufey was different. Odin didn’t care, “He is Loki’s father and I will not deny him the chance to be with his injured son any more than I would any of you.” 

They finished, Odin sent off a few messages, and he went to see Loki. Laufey was already there, and Frigga and Thor must have allowed him privacy, because he was alone. The giant was kneeling beside Loki’s bed, elbows resting on it and head in his hands. Odin could just make out the whispers that fell from his lips, prayers to the old gods of Jotunheim. 

This was the second time death had tried to take Laufey’s son from him. When Bylister returned, Laufey must have been swarmed with memories of the first time he grieved for his lost son. He must have remembered the anguish at Loki’s ‘death’ years ago, and this time there would be no surprise revelation if anything happened to Loki. If Loki died, there wouldn’t be another chance this time. 

Odin cleared his throat and Laufey looked up. Odin expected him to be furious that his enemy had caught him so vulnerable, but he just looked tired. 

“How is Bylister?” Odin asked.

“He will heal. He would be here now, but I wouldn’t risk it, not without knowing who the target was. Why did this happen Odin?”

“The plot was against Vanaheim. They hoped to kill the princess and her child and blame it on Bylister. It would cause Vanaheim to declare war against Jotunheim. In the chaos they would overthrow the king. Loki and Baldur would be collateral damage, and their underestimating those two was their downfall.”

Odin was proud of Loki and his skills, and the risks he took to protect the helpless, even if it led him here. He hoped Baldur’s parents would feel the same pride and that it would be a balm to their grief.

“The one who died. Loki has spoken of him before.”

“A distant cousin through Frigga and one of his oldest friends. When Loki fell, he stood above him to stop any of the attackers from harming him further. Loki is alive because of his defense.”  
“Jotunheim will pay him honors for sacrificing himself for one of her princes,” it was a rare honor for a non-Jotun to earn that. Odin could think of only two others who had, “what happened to those who attacked them?” 

“All were killed but one, and he was the one who was forced to give the names of all those involved. They’re being rounded up as we speak. They will all be in irons before day’s end.”

“And then?”

“I asked them to stay the executions long enough for us to be there. They harmed our son. We will be there to see their heads removed from their shoulders.”

For one savage moment they were in complete agreement. They were of the same mind, had the same blood thirst. For the first time, Odin and Laufey understood and respected exactly what the other wanted, all the hatred and rage left behind. Once this was over things would return to how they had been, but it was enough for now. They went to Vanaheim the next day to watch them die. Frigga accompanied them. Most thought her even tempered and kind, a peaceful queen to her war-like husband. She was, most of the time, unless it was about her children. Then she was colder than the ice of Jotunheim. She would see the ones who almost killed her child punished, even if the judgement was death, and feel no pity. 

When the three of them reached Vanaheim, the king went down on a bended knee in front of Laufey, humble and thankful, “My daughter and her son are only alive because of your sons. If Jotunheim ever calls for assistance, Vanaheim will answer.” 

They were all shocked, Laufey most of all, but he managed to reply, “My son lives because of your son-in-law. Jotunheim will do the same.”

In one moment, Asgard lost a primary ally to Jotunheim. The other two realms had a pact of mutual protection, one stronger than the begrudging one between Asgard and Vanaheim. It was a dangerous thing, one that King Odin feared, one that would send the leadership of Asgard scrambling to find ways to undermine. But for now, because of how it came to be, how could Odin even begin to protest it? There was no way. 

They watched each of the conspirators confess to what they had done and then lose their head. The three parents of Loki watched them die. Afterwards, once the deed was done and the servants dragging the bodies away, the three of them parted ways, Odin and Frigga to Asgard and Laufey to Jotunheim.

“I am sending a healer of my own to watch over him,” Laufey said with no room for arguments. 

“They will be fully welcomed,” Frigga replied, even though they knew it wasn’t needed. Vanaheim’s healers had seen Loki through the worst and Asgard’s were more than capable of keeping him alive if he took a turn. But this was the one thing Laufey could do right now, and they would not take it from him. 

The healer came two days later. Rarely was Loki alone in that time, even though he was still under the sleeping medicine. Frigga and Thor rarely left his bedside, and Loki’s friends were often there, worried and grief stricken. Odin went when he could. When it was time to leave for Baldur’s funeral, his friends and Thor -there to represent Loki- went, but Frigga stayed behind. She was unwilling to leave her son. Odin went to show how grateful Asgard was to the man who saved the prince. His heart broke to see poor Nana’s tears as Baldur was returned to the earth in the custom of Vanaheim. As they left, Odin tried to give Baldur’s friends some solace, “He died valiantly. He feasts in Valhalla,” Ullr, the only warrior amongst them, was the only one who took that comfort.

When they returned to Asgard, Odin returned to Loki and found the Jotun healer already there, speaking quietly to Frigga. She was smaller than Loki, though with a stronger build. Her raven hair was loose around her shoulders and she was plainly dressed, a healer’s satchel hanging from her waist. The only remarkable thing about her was the ruby pendant at the hollow of her neck, shaped like a coiled snake. It was a piece he knew Loki had commissioned and it told Odin exactly who this was.

“Angrboda,” he said, and she nodded, “Loki never mentioned you were a healer.”

“It isn’t my strongest skill,” she admitted in a clear voice, “but King Laufey decided it would be better for someone Loki knows to be here, for when he finds out about his friend,” Odin did not look forward to having to tell Loki about Baldur’s death. 

It took Loki five days to wake up, and it was Angrboda who happened to be there when he did, while Odin was just walking into the room. 

“Ang?” Loki’s voice was groggy with sleep and confusion.

“It’s me,” the Jotun confirmed, smiling down at him with a loving smile. 

“What…” mind still addled by the drug, he couldn’t think clearly enough to finish the question.

“You were injured,” Odin stepped up to his bed side, taking over. He did not ask Angrboda to leave, so she sat holding his hand, “you’ve been asleep,” He did not explain further. Loki was still under the influence and wouldn’t process it correctly. He would be confused, or he would panic, and neither would be helpful

“Father?”

“Yes Loki,” he took Loki’s other hand, and let the relief flow through him. He didn’t try and hide his tears, not even from the Jotun in the room. It was not weak to cry from joy, “I love you my son.”

Loki mumbled something Odin couldn’t make out, before he slipped back into unconscious. 

“He will be like this for a few days,” Angrboda assured him, “he will fall in and out of sleep, until the medicine has completely run its full course,” she paused, “I will find Queen Frigga and tell her. After that I will go to Jotunheim and tell my king. He will want to return with me.”

“And he will be allowed.”

Loki woke up twice more before they returned, a little more lucid each time. Frigga soothed him first and Thor just talked to him the second. The third time was when Laufey came in. Loki was sitting up in bed, speaking with Odin while still scatterbrained, and his mouth fell open in shock when he first saw the Jotun king. 

“Father?” 

“I’m here,” the Jotun said, and Odin removed himself from Loki’s side so Laufey could take it.

“You hate Asgard,” Loki was dumbfounded. 

“I do,” Laufey replied, “but I love you more,” then he pulled Loki into a hug, holding him tightly. Loki automatically relaxed into it, as though Laufey’s physical affection was aa common occurrence. Perhaps it was.

For the first time, Odin looked on the evidence of Loki’s love of another father and felt no jealously or worry. He was only glad Loki had so much love in his life. He left them alone there. 

When Frigga told Loki about Baldur a week later, he wept into her arms. He went to Vanaheim, afterwards to plead for Nana’s forgiveness, only to have her embrace him and say that she was happy Baldur had such a friendship in his life and she knew Loki would have done the same, if the situation had been reversed. It brought Loki some peace, but it still took him time to heal from his friend’s death, his first taste of grief because of death. Yet he did heal, with the help of both his families and friends. 

Laufey did not return to Asgard, but both Bylister and Angrboda did, the first to visit and the second determined to stay until someone made her leave (and no one did). Angrboda and Loki together were different than Loki and Sigyn had been- Loki and Sigyn complimented each other, Loki and Angrboda challenged each other- but they fit together in a way it made both his parents happy to see. When Loki approached Odin the night before he was set to resume his duties and travel to Jotunheim, Odin was not surprised.

“I wish to ask Angrboda to marry me. As my father I know you will support me, but you are also my king.”

“And you have my blessing both,” Odin assured him. Frigga would be ecstatic, “have you asked the same question of Laufey?”

Loki grinned, “He is one who told me to hurry up and ask before she grew too tired of waiting.” 

l.l.l.l. 

They were married two years later in two grand ceremonies, one on Asgard, where Loki stood tall in his ceremonial armour and Angrboda not-quite suited to but beautiful in her Asgardian dress. When the ribbon was tied between their clasped hands and they kissed, Odin was sure he had never seen Loki so happy. The ceremony in Jotunheim was the next day, and it was for none from Asgard to see. Odin could have spied but didn’t. Let the Jotun have their secrets and their customs. The couple honeymooned on Alfheim for a year and then returned to Jotunheim, where Loki took his duties again. At her request, he helped Angrboda learn as well, so that she could aid him. They worked well as a team.

Not long after his return to Jotunheim, the letters Loki sent back to family took on a different tone. Odin could not place it exactly, but could read the excitement in those written words, though Loki gave no clue as to why. He wasn’t the only one that noticed. 

“Loki’s keeping secrets,” Thor complained after reading the latest letter.

Frigga just laughed, “Loki is always keeping secrets Thor.” 

When Loki finally returned to Asgard a month later, he was beaming. When he found his family waiting at the bifrost, he wasted no time in blurting, “I have something to tell you.”

l.l.l.l 

Twelve months to the day of the announcement, a feast was held in order to introduce Loki and Angrboda’s first child to the people of Asgard. The occasion was joyous as the people celebrated the new little prince. They cooed over him, loving the tiny baby, never saying a word about his blue skin, markings, or crimson eyes. It was far different from the last time a Jotun infant had been brought back to Asgard and named prince. 

Odin looked around the hall, to where Loki was teasing his brother that it was his turn next and then to where Angrboda -dressed in Jontar finery- spoke of magic with Amora, Lorelei, and a handful of other mages. Bylister was there, trying to lead Sigyn in a dance despite their size difference that had them both laughing. Ullr, there as a guardsman on duty, laughed as the giant teased the lady of Asgard he might step on her. A Jotun sorceress and a Jotun warrior stood in the great hall of Asgard and there were no looks of fear or disgust. Many just ignored them both, as though their presence there was no grand thing. Some laughed at their antics. Even the older warriors, the ones who had fought on Jotunheim, showed no anger that Bylister and Angrboda were being treated as though they belonged there. 

Frigga sat beside him, their grandson held in her arms. Jorgamund was grasping at the curls that fell down around her face with his chubby hands. Frigga had been given permission to travel to Jotunheim those last few months of Angrboda’s pregnancy, to both help and provide comfort since Angrboda had no mother of her own to lean on. That Laufey had allowed the Queen of Asgard herself into not only his realm but his palace as well, still shocked the realms. But it did not shock Odin. Laufey the king might not have changed and was as he always had been, but Laufey the father was one Odin hoped he would always be on par with, for he was great. 

“May I have him?” Odin asked Frigga. She pouted but allowed Odin to take the baby. He held Jorgamund like he had Loki, long ago. This child was older by a few months and his blue skin did not fade away. Odin saw neither Angrboda nor Loki in his features, only in his clan lines. The baby curled a hand around his finger, as his father did that day in the temple. Odin loved his grandson just as fiercely. 

He thought of all the things he could have done that day, all the ideas that had played in his mind when he wondered what he should do with Loki. He looked up again, in time to see Loki and Angrboda catch each other’s eyes across the room and smile at each other, just as Jorgamund gurgled and pulled on his finger again. It was then Odin knew it well- he had made a choice a thousand years ago, and it had been the right one.


End file.
